Nick DiPaolo - Rap Music

Nick Di Paolo Season 1, Ep 4 05/09/1996 Views: 1,914

They call scratching an art form. (1:28)

I went in to get a sandwich

today at this coffee shop.

How long should that take, five


How come you always get that

trainee who comes out from the

back room with a plunger in his


( laughter )

"Yeah, the toilets are done.

What next, boss?"

The manager goes, "Make that guy

a sandwich."

( laughter )

The kid looks at me, "Can I help


I said, "Yeah, you can start by

boiling your hands."

( laughter )

I really don't care for the

rhino virus in my tuna.

I'm kind of a fussy guy.

This kid goes to me, "What do

you want?"

I said, "I'll have a tuna fish


This is he asks me.

He goes, "Would you like

mayonnaise mixed in with that


"No, that would make the

sandwich much too moist and


( laughter )

"Don't you have any road salt or

broken glass you could throw in


( laughter )

Then the kid says to me, "Is

this for here or to go?"

I look around, there's no tables

and chairs in the place.

"I'll just lay on the floor and

eat it, Sparky, thanks."

( laughter )

There's a kid in there next to

me playing rap music, you know,

blasting it.

I was listening to some this


Not that I had a choice-- it was

coming out of a jeep four miles


( laughter )

"Yeah, could you turn that crap


I still have one eye socket


( laughter )

I like rap.

I don't care for that scratching


You know that scratching they do

with the turntable?

It sounds like a fat woman

walking in corduroys.

( imitates scratching )

"Please welcome MC Chafe."

( laughter )

They call that an art form,


Remember the old days, you were

at a party, you bumped into the

turntable, you're a ( bleep )?

Now you're a music