Tammy Pescatelli - This Old Ho

  • Season 10 , Ep 10
  • 03/23/2006
  • Views: 12,750

DIGNITY, A LITTLE SELF-RESPECT IN THIS COUNTRY?

THERE'S A WHOLE GENERATION OF YOUNG GIRLS WHO HAVE NO CLASS.

THEY FLASH THEIR TITONESEVERY CHANCE THEY GET.

- [LAUGHTER]- YEAH, TITONES.

THAT'S A NEIGHBORHOOD WORD FOR BREASTS.

DOESN'T IT SOUND LIKE THE AWARD YOU WIN

FOR THE BEST CLEAVAGE? "AND THE TITONE GOES TO."

[LAUGHTER]

SHE'S ONE OF THOSE GIRLS. YOU SEE 'EM.

THEY MAKE THE VIDEOS. WILD AND SPRING BREAK.

AND THAT'S FINE. IT'S FUN NOW, RIGHT?

BUT YOU KNOW WHAT HAPPENS? I GREW UP WITH ALL BOYS.

IN FIVE YEARS FROM NOW,THOSE ARE THE SAME GIRLS

WHO ARE GONNA BE CRYING ON A TALK SHOW SOMEWHERE,

BLAMING ALL MEN. "I CAN'T FIND A GOOD MAN."

YEAH, 'CAUSE YOU'RE A WHORE.

- [LAUGHTER AND APPLAUSE] - SORRY.

NOW GET YOUR BABY AND GET THE HELL OUTTA HERE.

[LAUGHTER, CHEERS, WHISTLE AND APPLAUSE]

I LOVE THAT JOKE,'CAUSE I CAN ALWAYS TELLWHERE THE WHORES ARE.

- [LAUGHTER]- YOU KNOW WHO YOU ARE.

EVERYBODY ELSE DOES TOO,DON'T KID YOURSELF.

NO, I LOVE THATYOU GUYS GOT THAT JOKE.

BECAUSE YOU GET IT, RIGHT? I MEAN, YOU KNOW HOW THERE'S

ALWAYS ONE IDIOT THAT RUINS EVERYTHING, YOU KNOW,

LIKE THE GUY WHO WINS THE LOTTERY

AND SAYS HE'S GOING BACK TO WORK.

CAN YOU IMAGINE SITTINGNEXT TO THE GUY WHO WON

$340 MILLION IN THE LOT--

YOU WOULD STAB HIM IN THE EYE WITH A PAPER CLIP.

SO, YOU KNOW, THERE'S ALWAYS ONE IDIOT. SO, I TELL THAT JOKE ABOUT--

I SAY, "GET YOUR BABY AND GET OUTTA HERE."

AND THERE'S A WOMAN, AND SHE'S A CRITIC.

AND SHE HATES ME. AND SHE WRITES IN HER COLUMN

THAT I'M TRYING TO CUT DOWN ALL SINGLE MOMS.

NOW, THAT'S NOTWHAT I'M SAYING.

I HAVE MUCH RESPECT FOR MOTHERHOOD,

LET ALONE BEING A SINGLE MOM, OKAY.

I KNOW HOW HARDTHAT JOB HAS GOT TO BE,

'CAUSE I'M SINGLE AND I CAN'T RAISE SEA MONKEYS RIGHT NOW, ARIGHT?

YOU KNOW WHO I'M CUTTING DOWN WITH THAT JOKE WHEN I SAY,

"GET YOUR BABY AND GET OUTTA HERE?" WHORES.

AND IF THATOFFENDS YOU, GOOD. OKAY?

IT'S A LITTLE SOMETHING. RIGHT?

[CHEERS, WHISTLES & APPLAUSE]

IT'S A LITTLE SOMETHINGI LIKE TO CALL

THE "SAVE A HO" PROJECT. OKAY?

IT'S ABOUT BRINGING CLASS AND DIGNITY BACK TO THIS COUNTRY.

WE'LL GO CITY TO CITY, HIRE BOB VILLA.

WE'LL DO A MAKEOVER SHOW, CALL IT "THIS OLD HO."

- IT'LL BE WONDERFUL. - [LAUGHTER]

FIRST EPISODE WILL STAR MY SISTER-IN-LAW.

[LAUGHTER AND APPLAUSE]

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