Eddie Gossling - Educating

Gossling, Burr, Perkins, Yard Season 1, Ep 9 11/11/2004 Views: 4,991

If you're not getting good grades in Nebraska, try moving to Louisiana. (1:11)

(Eddie Gossling)I TRAVELED ALL THETIME GROWING UP.

MY DAD WAS INTHE AIR FORCE.

WE MOVED AROUND ALL THETIME, AND I NEEDED THAT.

'CAUSE, UH, WHEN I LIVEDIN NEBRASKA, I WAS NOT

GOING TO MAKE IT OUT OFHIGH SCHOOL IN FOUR YEARS.

I HAD A HORRIBLE SET OFENCYCLOPEDIAS GROWING UP.

MY PARENTS DIDN'TWANT TO GET NEW ONES,

SO THEY GOT MYGRANDMA'S OLD ONES.

A THROUGH Z WAS COVEREDIN TWO BOOKS THEN.

THOSE BOOKS WERE SO OLD.

I HAD NO IDEA HOWOLD THEY WERE UNTIL

I RECEIVED BACK MY FAILEDREPORT ON THE FIVE PLANETS

OF OUR SOLAR SYSTEM.

I COPIED THAT F RIGHTOUT OF THE BOOK!

BUT MY DAD GOTTRANSFERRED TO LOUISIANA,

AND I WAS, LIKE,TUTORING KIDS.

IT WAS UNBELIEVABLE.

UH, I WENT FROM IDIOTTO ELDER IN FOUR DAYS.

I GOT COCKY.

I THOUGHT ABOUTBECOMING A TEACHER.

BUT IF I WAS GONNA TEACH,I WOULDN'T TEACH ANYTHING

PAST THE SECOND GRADE.

'CAUSE I RECENTLY FOUNDOUT THAT A SECOND GRADE

TEACHER GETS PAIDTHE EXACT SAME WAGE

AS A HIGH SCHOOLPHYSICS TEACHER.

YEAH, GOOD MORNING,SECOND GRADE!

YOU DON'T EVEN NEED A LESSONPLAN FOR THE SECOND GRADE.

EVERYTHING IS NEW TO THEM.

YOU COULD LIE TO THEM.

THEY DON'T KNOW.

COULD BE LIKE... TWOPLUS THREE EQUALS CHAIR.

MY GOD, THEY'REWRITING IT DOWN!