Dat Phan - Parental Sounds

  • Season 8 , Ep 2
  • 01/29/2004
  • Views: 20,657

At the dinner table, Dat's parents sound like an a capella "We Will Rock You." (2:14)

SO I TRY TO VISIT MY PARENTS,

RIGHT?

I TRY TO VISIT THEM WHEN I CAN

AND I HAVE LIKE A REALLY

HARD TIME BECAUSE LIKE I TRY

TO GO OVER AND RESPECT THEM

AND STUFF.

AND THEY'RE MAKING WEIRD NOISES

AROUND THE HOUSE NOW FOR

NO REASON.

LIKE MY DAD, HE SMOKES.

AND NOW HE MOANS WHILE

HE SMOKES.

I DON'T KNOW WHERE THIS

CAME FROM.

[LAUGHTER]

I SEE MY DAD.

HE'S SMOKING, RIGHT?

AND NOW HE MOANS JUST LIKE--

[INHALES]

[EXHALES] AHHH!

[LAUGHTER]

IT'S LIKE SOMEBODY PUNCHED HIM

IN THE STOMACH WHILE HE'S

SMOKING OR SOMETHING, YOU KNOW?

"AHH!

OKAY."

MY DAD ONLY SAID TWO THINGS

TO ME AROUND THE HOUSE WHEN

I WAS THERE.

NUMBER ONE, "OKAY.

OKAY, USA."

AND TWO, "GOOD.

GOOD, DAT PHAN."

GOOD?

HOW DO YOU CARRY A CONVERSATION

ON WITH THAT?

LIKE, "DAD, HOW YOU DOING?"

"OKAY."

LIKE, "DAD, THE HOUSE IS ON

FIRE."

"OKAY.

[INHALES]

[EXHALES] AHHH!

OKAY."

MY MOM WILL MAKE WEIRD NOISES

AROUND THE HOUSE FOR NO REASON

NOW, TOO.

LIKE SHE EATS FOOD THAT'S

SO SPICY NOW THAT SHE--

LIKE EVERY-- I DON'T KNOW

WHAT IT IS WITH ASIAN OR LATINO

PARENTS.

EVERY YEAR THEY ADD MORE

AND MORE SPICES IN THEIR FOOD.

YOU GUYS NOTICE THAT?

MY MOM, SHE'S EATING FOOD THAT'S

SO HOT THAT SHE'S SWEATING,

SHE'S CRYING WHILE SHE'S EATING.

IS THIS GOOD?

I SEE HER JUST LIKE--

YAHH-YAHH-YAHH!

LIKE, "MOM, WHAT'S FOR DINNER?"

"LAVA.

YAHH-YAHH-YAHH!"

[LAUGHTER]

"WHAT'S FOR DESSERT?"

"FIRE.

YAHH!-HAHH!"

SHE'S EATING-- SHE--

YOU KNOW IT'S TO HOT.

AND THEY NEVER ADMIT IT'S HOT

BUT YOU KNOW IT'S HOT BECAUSE

THEY GO LIKE THIS--

SEE THIS?

IT'S LIKE A JET INTAKE,

YOU GUYS.

AND YOU HAVE TO LET AIR IN YOUR

MOUTH TO COOL OFF THE FOOD.

IT'S TIME TO BACK OFF ON THE

SPICES.

IT'S LIKE THERE'S LAVA IN MY

MOM'S MOUTH.

"THERE'S LAVA IN MY MOUTH, SON.

BUT IT'S GOOD.

IT'S HOT."

I LOVE WATCHING MY PARENTS EAT.

IT'S BETTER THAN ANY MUSIC VIDEO

I'VE SEEN IN MY LIFE.

AND IT'S FREE.

'CAUSE I SEE MY DAD,

HE'S SMOKING AT THE DINNER TABLE

JUST LIKE--

[INHALES]

[EXHALES] AHHH!

MOM...

[LAVA NOISES]

DAD...

[INHALES]

[EXHALES] AHHH!

MOM...

[LAVA NOISES]

DAD, MOM.

[INHALES, LAVA NOISES

IN UNISON TO A RAP BEAT]

♪ WE WILL ROCK YOU

♪ HAMMER TIME

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