Vanessa Graddick - Real Single

Season 4, Ep 0403 10/30/2009 Views: 1,313

Vanessa Graddick probably isn't ready for a relationship. (2:53)

that I don't havethe temperament

for dumb stuff anymore.

I just don't have it.I can't take it.

Like, I went out with this guy.

Waitress comes,gives him the menu.

He looks at itand looks at her and says,

"Are these my options?"


No, this is light readingtill she comes back.

Your options are gonna drop downfrom the ceiling

in a PowerPoint presentationin ten to 15 minutes.

What does menu meanto you, 'cause...?


Like, that's right up there

with conversateand worser, right?


Okay,15 people at Gotham read.

15... people.

Okay, for the rest of you, uh...

For the rest of you, I'm gonnado a little class real quick.

Um, the word is not pacific.That's the ocean.

It's specific.

Uh, don't getinto an educated conversation

and say, "Well, irregardless..."You don't need that ear.

It is simply regardless.

It is... simply regardless.

Um, this guy got mad at me,and was, like,

"Well, whatI'm s'posed to do?"

Find the syllablesin "suppose" is a good idea.

Those syllables in "suppose."


"Well, forget you, Vanessa.

I'm gonna be 'sus-ses-ful.'"

Not withoutthose Cs in "success."

Those Cs... in "success."

I'm 'a do...I'm gonna do better, though.

I don't want to be single,

'cause I'm that real singlewhere sometimes

you just feel empty?

Like you either need to eat,drink or bang,

but either way, something bad'sgoing inside of you.

Does anybodyever feel like that?


Like I don't knowif it's gonna be liquor,

fried chicken, or you, sir--maybe you.

But I'm gonna be full.

I'm gonna be fullat the end of the day.

I'm gonna full regardless.



Goodness gracious.

(mumbling quietly)

I'm probably not readyfor a relationship.

I'm probably not.

'Cause I still havesome old, residual,

I-can't-stand-your-monkey-ass,daddy-type issues.

Anybody have...I'm the only...?

Okay, that's all right.

But my issues come outat strange times,

like during sex.

Okay, I'll explain. Uh...


Now, you know, I'm tryingto do what I do,

make it do what it doso we can do what we do.

You understand what I'm saying?

Get it? Okay.

How old are y'all, 12?Okay, I'm sorry.

I'm back. Okay.

And here he go.

"Call me Daddy."

"Daddy, huh?

"Where you been, yo?

"Where you been at?

"Where you been?Why you...

"You just gonna show up naked,that's what you gonna do?

"You're just gonna...You didn't...

"You didn'tshow up to my basketball games,

"or when I playedLady MacBeth.

"What about my allowance?

"I believe it's $67.34

"with taxes, fees and titlesthat you owe me.

And you're just gonna show updangling what?!"