(crowd whooping)

All right.

Let's calm down.

It's affordable.

Six weeks ago,I spotted a hipster.

If you don't knowabout hipsters,

what they are is,

they're the human versionof bedbugs.

(cheering)

If you see one, there's probably40 more under your bed.

Judging your music.

A lot of people hate hipsters.

I don't.

I respect them.

'Cause they move into the mostdangerous neighborhoods...

and force everybody out.

It's...

That's some gangster shit.

It's actually just white peoplebeing white people,

that's all it is.

We've been doing itfor centuries.

They're even starting to looklike old Spanish conquistadors

with their dumb mustaches.

Next thing you know,they're gonna start wearing

those metal helmets.

Carrying swords.

"I'm the dukeof the housing projects.

"Gluten-free cupcakesfor everyone.

"Bring me the firstStrokes album.

On vinyl!"

I just don't want themmessing up my neighborhood.

I love my neighborhood.

I have my favoritebarbecue restaurant.

I go there all the time.

I'm afraid hipsters are gonnamove in and change that.

I'm afraid one day,I'm gonna go in,

try to get some barbecue,

and behind the counter is gonnabe some kid in skinny jeans

and Buddy Holly glasses,

wearing a scarf even thoughit's (bleep) August.

He's gonna take one look at meand he's gonna be like, "Oh.

"We don't servebarbecue here anymore.

"All we serve is kale.

"Kale cakes,

"kale shakes...

"...and our waiters are cats,

"and we just put trayson their backs.

"So, if you want to order,put some catnip down.

"You're inMr. Nibbles's section.

(whispers):"He's a rescue.

Welcome to Kittens and Kale."