Al Jackson - 7th Grade Reunion Tour

Al Jackson Season 15, Ep 9 02/18/2011 Views: 20,069

When Al was a public school teacher he had to find nice ways to tell parents that their children were mildly retarded. (2:44)

I love it man,I love it.

I just loveliving here.

Clap it up if you loveliving in New York?

How beautifulis it here?


I stay hereall day.

This is cool,though being here.

I love being-- and-and Ilove where I used to live.

I used tolive in Miami.

And I lived therefor ten years.

And, like, anytime you tell,

like especiallyin the city,

you tell people you used tolive in Miami people like,

"Oh, Miami, cool.

You know like, youknow palm trees."

I'm like, "No morelike the first 48."

But, like, you know.

It's a little--it's a little rough.

But I didn't even do comedywhen I lived down Miami.

I had a crazy--

I used to be a publicschool teacher down there.


Yeah, all right.

Couple ofus, yeah, man.

I love myteachers, man.

Any time you tellpeople you teach,

people onlyknow one thing.

You know, they like, "howyou deal with them kids?

Them kids?"

I'm like, "it'snot the kids.

It's the parents."

At those parentteacher conferences

where every morning yougotta find a really nice way

to tell somebody that theirchild is mildly retarded.

[audience laughter]

'Cause it's always the samequestion every morning.

They'd be like,"Look, Mr. Jackson,

our son got an'F' in your class.

Why he got an 'F'?"

And I tell 'em,"'Cause I couldn't give

that littlebastard the 'G'."

[audience laughter]

'F' is as lowas I can go.

I'm trying to get somelegislation passed.

Yeah, man, Ireally did teach.

And I tell you this isone of my first memories

from teaching.

It-it's one of thoseparent/teacher conferences.

And I got yanked out of oneof them conferences by arm.

I almost got in trouble'cause I told a kid

that he was gonnafail my class.

Because he had fa--

The kid has failed everyclass including mine.

So, I'm talking to hisparents like adults.

I'm like, "Look, he'sgonna flunk this year.

Get him ready over thesummer, come back next year."

And they yanked at me, like,"Mr. You can't say flunk.

You can't say flunk--It's against protocol.

It's bad for hisself esteem."

and I'm like, "Look,I don't give a [deleted]

what we call it-- I'llcome up with a new term.

Let's call it 'The SeventhGrade Reunion Tour.'

He-he's doingall the old hits.


Opening up for Earth,Wind, and Fire."

This is cool, yeah, man--This is good.

And I tell you,

I'm sure we do have someteachers in the house.

And people don't realize,like, teachers we get hated on

all the time at thoseparent/teacher conferences

because parentscome at you crazy.

They come at yourcrazy and they're like,

"Look, my kid isn't failingany class but yours...

Maybe it's you--Maybe it's not my kid."

And that's when everyteacher gotta break out

the one thing thatevery teacher got.

It's our ace in the hole--It's our black jack 21.

And those standardizedtest scores.

That's in blackand white, Jack.

That's not me--That's the government.

'Cause you can lookright on there, like,

"If you look here... mostof the kids in South Florida

scored aboutin this area.

If you lift your foot up,your son scored right here.

See that?

We had a gerbiltake the same test.

He scored here, so--

Let's fire upthat tour bus."

It's coolthough, man.