Tony Woods - Bad Breath

  • Season 5 , Ep 8
  • 08/19/2001
  • Views: 6,558

Tony can't handle people with bad breath. (3:41)

TONY>> ALL RIGHT.

HEH, HEH, HEH.

HOW Y'ALL FEEL?

THAT'S COOL, MAN.

I DON'T, I DON'T REALLY CARE,

THOUGH.

(LAUGHTER)

FOR REAL-- I DON'T, MAN.

IT'S JUST SOMETHIN' I SAY.

YOU KNOW, YOU JUST SAY IT ALL

THE TIME--

HEY, HOW YOU FEEL?

SOME PEOPLE TAKE IT TOO SERIOUS.

YOU GO--

HEY, HOW YOU FEEL?

MY BACK... WHOA.

(LAUGHTER)

I DON'T REALLY CARE, MAN.

YOU COULD DIE RIGHT NOW,

IT WOULDN'T MATTER.

BUT THIS IS NICE.

I LIKE THIS.

I GUESS...

THAT'S MY HOUSE.

(LAUGHTER)

WELL, WELCOME TO MY PLACE,

Y'ALL.

THIS IS BULL (BLEEP).

(LAUGHTER)

I DON'T LIVE THERE, MAN.

BUT IT'S NICE, I LIKE IT.

HMM... I USUALLY START OUT

MY SHOW...

HEY, IT'S GREAT TO BE HERE!

NAH.

IT AIN'T THAT GOOD.

IT'S OKAY FOR Y'ALL 'CAUSE YOU

AT A SHOW, YOU KNOW?

I'M AT WORK.

(LAUGHTER)

I MEAN, HOW MANY PEOPLE SHOW UP

ON THE JOB AND GO "HEY!

IT'S GREAT TO BE HERE."

I KNOW YOUR CO-WORKERS WOULD SAY

SOMETHIN' LIKE...

"LOOK.

JUST GRAB THE TRASH CAN AND GET

ON THE TRUCK.

(LAUGHTER AND APPLAUSE)

YOU NOT IN SHOW BUSINESS, MAN."

I WANTED TO MENTION TRASH MEN,

'CAUSE I JUST LIKE 'EM, MAN,

'CAUSE THEY SEEM TO BE SUCH

STRONG INDIVIDUALS.

NOT BECAUSE THEY PICK UP

THE CANS.

BUT, THEY RIDE ON THE BACK OF

THAT TRUCK.

THEM TRUCKS STINK.

(LAUGHTER)

YOU EVER RIDE UP BESIDE A

TRASH TRUCK IN THE SUMMER

AND IT IT'S LIKE, EW,

WHAT THE...?

EWWW!

BUT THE MAN IS RIDIN'

ON THE BACK LIKE HE DON'T SMELL

NOTHIN'.

(APPLAUSE AND LAUGHTER)

AND IF HE SEES A WOMAN IN

THE CAR HE'LL LOOK OVER THERE

AND SAY "HEY".

LIKE SHE GONNA ROLL THE WINDOW

DOWN AND TALK TO HIS "STANKIN"

ASS.

(LAUGHTER AND APPLAUSE)

IT AIN'T GONNA HAPPEN.

SEE THAT'S MY PET PEEVE, MAN.

BAD SMELLS.

I CAN'T HANDLE BAD SMELLS.

I CAN HANDLE REGULAR BAD SMELLS,

LIKE, YOU KNOW, FARTIN'.

IT'S THAT BAD BREATH THING

I CAN'T HANDLE.

I DON'T MEAN REGULAR BAD BREATH,

LIKE ONIONS OR...

I'M TALKIN' ABOUT THAT

H-H-H-HEAAAVY STUFF.

YOU KNOW THAT COMES FROM WAY

DOWN THERE.

AND IT SEEMS LIKE THE PEOPLE

WHO HAVE THAT TYPE OF BREATH

DON'T SEEM TO KNOW.

'CAUSE THEY ALWAYS GOT SECRETS,

DON'T THEY?

"HEY, LEMME TELL YOU SOMTHIN'"

UH, UH.

(LAUGHTER)

AH, AH, AH!

I CAN'T HANDLE NONE OF YOU'RE

SECRETS, MAN.

MY EYES ARE WATERIN'.

SOMETIMES THEY GET THE HINT...

THEY GO...

OOOH!

OH, I KNOW, I NEED SOME GUM.

NAH, MAN.

YOU NEED SURGERY.

(LAUGHTER)

ONE OF YOUR ORGANS DONE WENT

BAD.

YOUR KIDNEY DONE FAIL OR

SOMETHIN'.

SOMETHIN'S GOING ON INSIDE OF

YOU.

'CAUSE THAT TYPE OF BREATH

IS CONTAGIOUS.

IT'LL GET ON YOU.

YOU KNOW, PEOPLE TALK TO YOU

AND YOUR WHOLE FACE IS...

YOU SMELL LIKE DOO DOO.

I KNOW, IT'S AROUND HERE

SOMEWHERE.

(LAUGHTER)

I KNOW I'M NOT SUPPOSED TO BE

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