Rachel Feinstein - Booty Clap

  • Season 14 , Ep 11
  • 01/11/2010
  • Views: 22,911

Rachel Feinstein's grandmother is so old that she is suspicious and terrified of everything. (2:24)

MY MOM HAS THIS FRIENDNAMED SANDY PASTERNAK,

AND SHE ACTUALLY INTRODUCESHERSELF TO PEOPLE LIKE THIS.

SHE GOES,"HI, I'M SANDY PASTERNAK.

LET THE PASTOR KEEPING NAPPIN'.LET'S HAVE SOME FUN."

[ LAUGHTER ]

SEE, THAT'S NOT OKAY.THAT'S...

[ LAUGHTER ]

AND EVERY TIME I SEE HERAT A PARTY OR A FUNCTION

OR SOMETHING, SHE'LL GIVE METHIS KIND OF LIKE

"WE'RE BOTH NAUGHTY" WINKFROM ACROSS THE ROOM.

LIKE, EVERY TIME I SEE HER,SHE KIND OF -- LIKE WE BOTH --

WE'RE ON THE SAME PAGE,ME AND SANDY, YOU KNOW?

EVERY TIME I SEE HER,SHE ALWAYS GOES...

[ LAUGHTER ]

LIKE WE'RE GONNA STEAL A CARTOGETHER LATER.

[ LAUGHTER ]

AND MY GRANDMOTHER'SAT THIS AGE NOW

WHERE SHE'S SO OLD,SHE'S SUSPICIOUS.

SHE'S JUST WALKING AROUNDLIKE...

[ Strained voice ] "WHAT THEHELL IS GOING ON? WHAT IS THIS?"

[ Normal voice ]SHE'S FURIOUS. SHE'S LIKE...

[ Strained voice ]"WHAT IS THIS [BLEEP]"

[ Normal voice ]AND MY MOM'S ALWAYS LIKE...

[ Midwestern accent ]"NO, GRANDMA'S FINE.

WE GOT HER CABLE.SHE'S FINE."

[ Normal voice ]REALLY, WHO CARES THATSHE'S CONSTANTLY TERRIFIED

AS LONG AS SHE HAS SHOWTIME?

THAT MAKES A LOT OF SENSE.

SHE'S BEWILDERED, LIKE,EVERY MOMENT OF HER DAY, LIKE...

[ Strained voice ]"WHAT THE HELL IS THIS?"

[ LAUGHTER ]

[ Normal voice ] I DON'T THINKI WANT TO LIVE THAT LONG,

WHERE, LIKE, EVERYTHING --

I MEAN,EVERYTHING CONFUSES HER.

LIKE, I THINK --AND SHE SITS THERE.

SHE WATCHES THE CABLE.SHE LOVES IT.

I THINK SHE KNOWS MOREABOUT POP CULTURE THAN I DO

'CAUSE SHE WATCHES MTV ALL DAY.

BUT SHE JUST STUDIES ITLIKE SHE'S STUDYING THE ENEMY

ON THE EDGE OF HER SEAT,YOU KNOW?

AND I'LL GO OVER THERE,AND SHE'LL RANT ABOUTWHATEVER SHE'S SEEN.

SHE'LL BE LIKE...

[ Strained voice ] "YOU KNOW,I WATCHED SOME OF THESE VIDEOS,

"AND I NOTICEDTHAT NOW THE FELLAS --

THEY PURSUE THE WOMENVERY DIFFERENTLY."

[ Normal voice ]I'M LIKE, "REALLY? NO [BLEEP]"

[ LAUGHTER ]

[ Strained voice ]"'CAUSE, YEAH, IT USED TO BE,

"IF A FELLA LIKED YOU, YOU KNOW,

"HE WOULD TAKE YOU FOR A WALKOR SOMETHING.

"BUT NOW WHAT THEY DOIS THEY TAKE YOU OUT BY A POOL

AND THEY JUST POUR LIQUORALL OVER YOU."

[ LAUGHTER ]

[ CHEERS AND APPLAUSE ]

SHE GOES, "YOU KNOW, I WASWATCHING SOME OF THESE VIDEOS,

"AND I NOTICE NOW, YOU KNOW,THEY -- THEY DO THIS NEW DANCE.

"IT'S CALLED THE BOOTY CLAP.

"THEY TAKE THE SIDESOF THEIR REAR,

"AND THEY CLAP IT TOGETHER.

"HAVE YOU SEEN THIS?

"IT USED TO BE A FELLA WOULD,YOU KNOW,

"GIVE YOU A PIECE OF TOFFEEAND WALTZ WITH YOU.

"NOW THEY JUST SIT THERE

AND THEY WATCH YOU BY THE POOLWHILE YOU SMACK YOUR REAR."

[ LAUGHTER ]

[ CHEERS AND APPLAUSE ]

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