Roast Battle II - Todd Barry vs. Jessica Kirson

Roast Battle II: Night Two - Uncensored Season 2, Ep 6 01/27/2017 Views: 4,063

Todd Barry shares the secret to Jessica Kirson's stand-up, and she can't get over his ability to look like two very different things at once. (6:10)

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- Let's roast![bell dinging]

- Todd, you look like a jockeythat [bleep] its own horse.

[crowd reacts]

- Fair enough.

[laughter]

- Jessica, people sayyou yell a lot on stage

because you don't haveany jokes, and that's not fair.

Because you also makefunny faces on stage

because you don't haveany jokes.

[laughter]

- It's called entertainment.

Todd, you're the only manI know

that looks like a pedophileand a child.

[laughter]

[helicopter whirring]

- I don't know if you guysknow this about Jessica,

but her stepbrother

is the actor Zach Braff.Yeah.

They're not blood relatives,

but they do sharethat special bond

that two people have whenthey're both equally untalented.

[crowd reacts]

- Todd...

you make me sick.

I, uh, I can't evenlook at you, really.

I mean, Todd's balding,

but it's just because his hairsaw his face and got scared.

[crowd reacts]

- Jessica...

another fact about Jessica,she was hired

to be a consultant

on that Robert De Niro movie,"The Comedian."

Apparently she wasespecially helpful

during the bombing every nightdream sequence.

[laughter]

- Last joke.

- This is my last joke?[chuckles]

- Could you guys slow it downa little bit?

- I'm sorry.He has no energy.

I feed off of energy.It's like [bleep] taking Ambien.

- You're killing it.It's great.

- All right.- [laughing]

- A lot of peopledon't recognize Todd on the road

because he's always so far upLouis C.K.'s ass.

[crowd reacts]

- Was that the whole joke?[laughter]

I feel like that neededone more line.

[laughter]

- If you're wondering what it'slike to see Jessica do comedy,

imagine being yelled atby a dominatrix

you're not attracted to...

in a dungeon that alsosells chicken fingers.

[bell ringing]

[farting]

[bell dinging]

- That's it.Todd Barry, Jessica Kirson.

You make some noise.

[cheers and applause]

- Whoo, two of my favorites.

Some real New York attitudeout here tonight.

What do you guys think?- Ken, can you go first, please?

- Sure, again--again, I'm justbig fans of both of you guys.

I really am.- I was gonna say that too.

- [laughing]

And again, to me the way--at the beginning,

just like the last battle,it started out pretty equal

the first two jokes,and but to cut to the chase,

I mean, I just think Todd,for me,

and it's not the factthat he is a legend,

but even if I didn't knowwho he was,

I think the thirdand fourth jokes, he just--

he just eked out ahead and itwas just funnier and funnier.

And it was a close call,

especially atthe very beginning,

but I-I love you guys both,and--

but I-I do have to give itto Todd.

But, Jessica, you're amazing.- Thank you.

- And I'm a fan of yours too.- Awesome.

- Todd's up one. Whit?- Thank you, hi.

That was so fun to watch.You guys are so rad.

I will just startwith Jessica.

The pedophile and child jokeis one of the best jokes

I've heard.- Oh, thank you.

- Hands down, I also--

I don't even knowif this is a joke,

but there's somethingso funny to me about,

"You make me sick."It's just--

- I didn't plan that,but I just--yes.

- It's so weird, like,your inner monologue

just kinda came out.

Todd, you're a legend,

but you saying, "Fair enough,"really got me.

I've never heard someone agreewith a roast joke before.

And that just kind of an amazingway to deflect something.

I loved your nonchalancekind of, like,

deconstructionof the whole thing like,

when you were like, "Jessica,"as if no one knew

who you were talking to.

- I don't think they did,actually.

- Yeah.[laughter]

- He's jealous.- Oh, wait, we're done.

I'm sorry.We were done with that.

- I am a sneaky, sneaky bitch,so I'm gonna pick Jessica.

[crowd reacts]- Uh-oh.

Well, it all comes downto you, Jeff.

- Jessica, the jockeythat [bleep] his own horse.

You had a killer, killer joke.That was so funny.

You really are oneof my favorite ball busters,

Jessica Kirson.

Todd Barry, you went so personaland so deep.

It was really fun to see

your inner [bleep] venomflying out tonight.

And this makes me so happyseeing you smile.

I haven't seen you smilein, like, 15 [bleep] years.

Look at you.- Will you cut this part out?

[laughter]

- I think overall,Jessica was great,

but I thought Toddwas more consistent

and your jokes weresuper original.

Congratulations,Todd Barry.

- Winner,moving on to the next round,

Todd Barry!