Next up,Single And Ready To Tingle.
Before we went on break,we took a deep dive
into the world of Amazonself-publishing phenomenon,
Chuck Tingle, the authorof erotic fantasy micro novels
with titles like... Unicorn Butt Cops-- Beach Patrol,
and... Gay T-Rex Law Firm-- Executive Boner.
I don't knowwhat this one thinks
he's accomplishing back here,but it's not much.
-Uh... -HOLMES (laughs): Executive Boner?
You can read that if you want.You can read that.
-Oh, it's a book?-It's a book.
-I'm out.-It's a... That was it.
So, at the end of our segment,we challenged Mr. Tingle
to write a Tinglerwith a specific main character,
and he did it within 12 hoursof this broadcast,
before we went to break.
Who is the heroof the new odyssey?
A) Grumpy Catwith a thick ol' dong;
B) A werewolfwith a talking British butthole;
or me Chris Hardwick?Who was it?
-Joe. -I'm gonna say Grumpy Catwith a thick ol' dong,
'cause if loving grumpy catswith dongs is wrong,
I don't wanna be right!
No, the correct answer was me.
Uh, that's Hard for Hardwick-- Pounded in the Butt
by the Physical Manifestation
of My Own Handsome Late Night Comedy Show.
-(whooping, applause)-This is, uh...
So, uh, it's 18 pages,
and I do... I do get...I do get butt (bleep)
by the show who is manifested
by a guy named Matt Idnite.
Uh, and he... he pounds my butt.
And I got to really give itto Chuck Tingle
and thank all the @midnight fanswho took up this cause
and harassed him to get himto write about this, and he did.
And I'm greatly appreciative.
What a wonderfulThanksgiving treat that was.
-(laughter, whooping, applause)-This is... this...
By the way...
it is for sale on Amazonright now,
and it is the best $2.99you will spend all year.
Hey, what did you guys doover Thanksgiving?
-(laughter)-That's what Chuck did.
I bet this guy makesa good stuffing.
(singing "Rule, Britannia!")