Cash Levy - Tall People

Mooney, Levy, Foster, Tripoli Season 7, Ep 712 01/23/2004 Views: 3,775

Tall people are like the SUVs of humanity. (2:32)

WITH THEIR LONG NECKS BLOCKING

THE SUN SO THAT NOTHING CAN

GROW.

[LAUGHTER]

TALL PEOPLE ARE LIKE THE SUVs

OF HUMANITY.

SAPPING THE EARTH OF ITS

STRENGTH.

THING I HATE ABOUT TALL PEOPLE

IS THEY JUST ASSUME THE REST

OF US WANT TO BE TALL.

THAT'S NOT TRUE.

IT'S JUST LIKE PEOPLE WITH HAIR

JUST ASSUME EVERYONE WITHOUT

HAIR WANTS TO HAVE HAIR.

[LAUGHTER]

[APPLAUSE]

THAT IS TRUE.

THE THING THAT MAKES ME FEEL

BETTER ABOUT MY HATRED FOR

TALL PEOPLE IS THIS.

HAVE YOU EVER SEEN LIKE A

REALLY, REALLY OLD TALL PERSON?

YEAH, ME NEITHER.

[APPLAUSE]

THEY DON'T LAST VERY LONG.

ENJOY YOUR BASKETBALL AND YOUR

VIEW TALL PEOPLE YOU'RE GOING

DOWN.

[LAUGHTER AND APPLAUSE]

MY FAVORITE ANIMAL IS THE LION.

LION'S MY FRIEND'S.

LIONS SLEEP 85% OF THEIR DAY.

HAVE SEX UP TO 55 TIMES A DAY.

THAT'S WHAT WE SHOULD BE

SHOOTING FOR!

[LAUGHTER, CHEERS, APPLAUSE]

YEAH.

I WOULD LOVE TO GET THAT MUCH

SLEEP.

[LAUGHTER]

IT WOULD BE GREAT, YOU WAKE UP,

YOU HAVE SEX, YOU HAVE SEX,

YOU GO BACK TO SLEEP.

IT WOULD BE LIKE COLLEGE.

[LAUGHTER, CHEERS, APPLAUSE]

WE WORK TOO HARD MY NEW FRIENDS.

A LOT OF YOU WORK SIX DAYS A

WEEK AND I KNOW WHAT YOU'RE

THINKING, YOU'RE FOLLOWING IN

THE FOOTSTEPS OF GOD, RIGHT,

WHO WORKED FOR SIX DAYS CREATING

THE EARTH AND THEN TOOK A DAY

OF REST.

BUT YOU SEE GOD DIDN'T COME BACK

TO WORK THAT NEXT MONDAY!

[LAUGHTER AND APPLAUSE]

NOPE, GOD HASN'T PUNCHED IN

SINCE.

NO, GOD WAS A TEMP.

[LAUGHTER]

THINK OF GOD'S FIRST WORK DAY,

HE DIDN'T CARE ABOUT WORK,

GOD PUNCHED IN, SAID, "LET THEIR

BE LIGHT.

[CLICK]

DONE FOR THE DAY!"

HEY,