Facebook does not help that.

I went on FacebookSaturday morning

and I woke upto the most triumphant

Facebook status updatesof all time.

It was, like, "me and Jennyare getting married.

I'm the luckiest guyin the world."

"Just got my master'sin art history;

I'm finally gonna workat the museum."

And then I've got to tryto keep up, you know?

And I'm, like...

(sighs) foundan interesting rock

on the way to the liquor store.

Got through a whole nightwithout crying,

and then I've got to like ittwo hours later

'cause nobody else will.

I'm a manic-depressive.A lot of people ask me

oh, does that meanyou get sad sometimes?

I'm, like,I don't get mood swings.

I get full-blown emotionalmonster truck events.

Where it's, like:

This weekendat Dan's Depression--

his thoughtsof the one who got away

go up againsthis dreams of becoming

a major league baseball player.

Who wins? Who cares,'cause Dan can't (bleep),

he's on Lexapropro, pro, pro, pro, pro, pro...

(laughter, scattered applause)