Chris D'Elia - Drunk Girls Don't Care About Puking

Chris D'Elia: White Male. Black Comic. Season 1, Ep 101 11/20/2013 Views: 46,631

Chris D'Elia doesn’t understand how drunk girls can be so nonchalant about almost vomiting. (1:35)

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"YOU DON'T KNOW ME."

"YOU -- YOU'RE SAYINGTHAT YOU KNOW ME,

"ALL OF THE FRIENDS AROUND.[ GAGS ]

IF YOU -- HEY."

[ LAUGHTER ]

"YOU'RE SAYINGTHAT YOU 'KNOW' ME

"WITH [GAGS]ALL THE FRIENDS AROUND.

"NO. [ GAGS ]

"YOU KNOW?

[ GAGS ]"

[ Normal voice ]HEY, DRUNK GIRLS

ARE THE ONLY PEOPLEON THE PLANET

THAT CAN ALMOST THROW UPAND NOT CARE ABOUT IT AT ALL.

[ LAUGHTER ]RIGHT?

IF YOU'RE A DUDEAND YOU ALMOST THROW UP,

YOU KNOW "GAME OVER"IMMEDIATELY, RIGHT?

YOU'LL BE LIKE, "HEY, BRO [GAGS]GET MY THINGS!"

[ LAUGHTER ]

"[ GAGS ] NOBODY MOVE!

STAY WHERE YOU [GAGGING]"

GIRLS DON'T DO THAT.

GIRLS DON'T CARE AT ALL.

GIRLS JUST BE LIKE...

[ Slurring ] "HEY [GAGS]WHERE ARE YOU GOING?"

[ LAUGHTER ]

"[ GAGS ]

"[ GIGGLES DRUNKENLY ]

[ GAGS ]THIS IS MY SONG!"

[ LAUGHTER ]

[ CHEERS AND APPLAUSE ]

"[ GAGS ]

"I LOVE THIS SONG!

"[ GAGS ]I LOVE RIHANNA, I LOVE RIHANNA!

"[ GAGS ]I'M RIHANNA!

I'M HER![ GAGS ]"

[ Normal voice ] YOU'RE LIKE,"YO, YOU ALMOST THREW UP."

[ Slurring ]"IT DOESN'T EVEN MATTER."

[ LAUGHTER ]

[ Normal voice ]YEAH, GIRLS DON'T MAKE SENSE.

YOU NEVER UNDERSTAND --WHEN THEY'RE DRUNK,

YOU NEVER UNDERSTAND WHATTHE HELL THEY'RE TALKING ABOUT,

BUT, ALSO,WHEN GIRLS ARE NOT DRUNK,

YOU NEVER UNDERSTAND WHAT THEHELL THEY'RE TALKING ABOUT, MAN.

YEAH!

[ CHEERS AND APPLAUSE ]

[ LAUGHS ]