Black Republicans

Slap-Ass Season 3, Ep 3 10/02/2013 Views: 152,603

The speakers at the fifth annual Meeting of the Tallahassee Black Republicans each try to make the case that there is diversity among their ranks. (2:57)

- HELLO, AND WELCOMETO THE FIFTH ANNUAL MEETING

OF THE TALLAHASSEEBLACK REPUBLICANS.

NOW, I'M PISSED!all: MM-HMM.

- ROYALLY PISSED!all: MM-HMM.

- LAST NOVEMBER, BARACK OBAMAWAS RE-ELECTED PRESIDENT,

AND THE BLACK VOTEWENT ALMOST ENTIRELY TO HIM!

[crowd murmuring]- DAGNABBIT.

- WE'RE NOT GETTINGOUR MESSAGE OUT, OBVIOUSLY.

THE REPUBLICAN PARTYIS AND SHOULD BE

THE ONLY HOME FOR BLACK VOTES.- YES, SIR.

- NOW, PEOPLE THINK THATBLACK VOTERS ARE A MONOLITH.

[scoffs]WE'RE NOT A MONOLITH.

- WHAT? WHAT?- NO, WE'RE NOT.

- IN FACT,BLACK REPUBLICANS ALONE

ARE AN EXTREMELY DIVERSEGROUP OF PEOPLE.

[crowd murmuring agreement]

NOW, TO SPEAK MOREON DIVERSITY,

I PRESENT TONIGHT'S SPEAKER,

MR. DOUGLAS JACKSON.

[applause]

[applause ends abruptly]

- NOW, I'M NOT GONNASUGARCOAT IT, I'M PISSED!

[crowd murmuring agreement]

I'M ROYALLY PISSED.

THE LIBERAL MEDIATHINKS THAT REPUBLICANISM

IS NOT FOR BLACK PEOPLE.all: MM.

- NOW, YOU TELL ME, WHATABOUT FISCAL RESPONSIBILITY,

A STRONG NATIONAL DEFENSE,AND A LIMITED GOVERNMENT

IS UNAPPEALINGTO BLACK PEOPLE?

WE'RE NOT A MONOLITH!all: MM-MMM.

- WE COME IN ALL DIFFERENTSHAPES AND SIZES.

- WE DO.all: MM-HMM!

- NOW, WHO HERE WOULD LIKETO COME UP TO THIS PODIUM

AND SPEAK ABOUT THE DIVERSITYAMONGST BLACK REPUBLICANS?

- [clears throat]

- OH.[chuckles]

GENTLEMEN,WE HAVE A REAL TREAT TODAY,

A GENTLEMANWHO IS A LITTLE BIT ECCENTRIC,

A LITTLE BIT OUTSIDE OF THE BOX,IF YOU WILL,

BUT I CAN'T THINKOF A BETTER PERSON TO SPEAK

ON DIVERSITYAMONGST BLACK REPUBLICANS

THAN THIS GENTLEMANRIGHT HERE.

ALL THE WAY FROM ORLANDO,MY GOOD FRIEND,

ARTHUR WASHINGTON!

[applause]

IT'S GOOD TO SEE YOU.IT'S GOOD TO SEE YOU.

GOOD TO SEE YOU, MAN.

[applause]

[applause ends abruptly]

- THANK YOUFOR THE INTRODUCTION,

BROTHER DOUGLAS.

- THANK YOU FOR BEING HERE,BROTHER ARTHUR.

- MM-HMM.

HOWEVER, I AM...PISSED.

[crowd murmuring agreement]

ROYALLY PISSED.

- INDEED, INDEED!- ALL RIGHT.

- DEMOCRATS THINKTHEY HAVE THE RIGHT

TO ALL THE BLACK PEOPLE.

BUT THAT IS NOT THE CASE.

WE ARE NOT A MONOLITH.[crowd murmuring agreement]

DEMOCRATS MAY BE COOL,BUT THEY AIN'T PRACTICAL.

- THERE YOU GO.[crowd murmuring agreement]

- REPUBLICANSARE PRACTICAL.

BLACK PEOPLEARE PRACTICAL!

COME TO THINK OF IT...- GET THOSE PANTS.

- I THINK BLACK REPUBLICANSARE PRETTY COOL.

[crowd murmuring agreement]- HEAR, HEAR, HEAR, HEAR.

- NOT TO MENTIONVERY DIVERSE.

- THERE WE GO. MM-HMM.[door opens]

- EXCUSE ME, GENTLEMEN.SORRY TO INTERRUPT.

SOMEONE'S WHITE WIFEIS HERE TO PICK THEM UP.

[all murmuring]

- WAS HER NAME EMILY?

- UH, SHE WAS WHITE.- OH, GREAT, THAT'S--

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