- HELLO?
- OH, BABY, OH.
IF ONLY I COULD JUSTPUT OUT MY HAND AND TOUCH YOU.
TOUCH YOUR HAIR AND YOUR--
- I'M SORRY.WHO IS THIS?
- WHAT?IT'S JEFF.
- JEFF, I'M SORRY.
YOU'RE NOTIN MY PHONE ANYMORE.
- WE BROKE UP, LIKE,TWO HOURS AGO.
WHAT ARE YOU TALKING ABOUT?[phone beeps]
- OOH, I GOT TO GET THIS.
MY DAD WAS SO HAPPY,HE JUST BOUGHT ME A CAR.
- WHAT?- ISN'T THAT SO NICE?
- THAT'S WHY YOU GOT TO GO?- BYE!
- BUT...I LOVE YOU.
[dial tone]
[cries]
- HEY, CAN YOUSAY THAT LAST BIT
JUST A LITTLE BIT LOUDER?
- GUYS,ARE YOU RECORDING THIS?
- UH, NOPE.
- BECAUSE THE THINGABOUT HUMANS IS,
HUMANS NEED PRIVACY,ALL RIGHT?
ESPECIALLY WHENTHEY'RE GETTING STABBED
IN THEIR HUMAN HEART![cries]
- HEY, WHAT'S PRIVACY?
- I DON'T KNOW.[toilet flushes]
- ♪ THREE ALIENSCAME FROM THE SKY ♪
♪ THE GALACTIC COUNCILSENT THEM ♪
all: ♪ AND HERE'STHE REASON WHY ♪
- ♪ THEIR MISSIONIS TO STUDY ♪
♪ EARTH'S MOST AVERAGE GUY
all: ♪ TO SEE IF HUMANSARE WORTH SAVING ♪
♪ OR IF EVERYONEHAS TO DIE ♪
- WAIT. WHAT?
all: JEFF! JEFF! JEFF!
- CAN YOU TAKE US TO THE ZOO?- OOH, OOH, OOH.
- THE ZOO?HUH.
NO, I DON'T THINK SO.
I'M NOT LEAVIN' THIS HOUSE
FOR A VERY,VERY LONG TIME.
- WELL, WHAT ABOUTWHEN YOU'RE HAPPY AGAIN?
CAN WE GO THEN?
- WHEN I'M HAPPY AGAIN,
WE CAN DOWHATEVER THE HELL YOU WANT.
all: YAY!
- WOULD A PUPPYMAKE YOU HAPPY?
[dog barks]
- [sighs]NO, I'M SORRY, GUYS.
all: AW...
- AAH!
- HOW ABOUTA LOT MORE PUPPIES?
- UH, APPRECIATETHE SENTIMENT,
BUT YOU NEED TO DO SOMETHIN'WITH THESE PUPPIES.
RIGHT NOW!- AW.
- HEY, JEFF.
WHAT DO YOU THINKOF THIS JACKET?
IT'S CUSTOM TAILOREDJUST FOR YOU!
- THIS IS ACTUALLYPRETTY COOL, GUYS.
I'M IMP--
OH, MY GOD!
OH, NO, NO, NO, NO,NO, NO, NO, NO!
NO! NO!GOD, FORGIVE US.
FORGIVE US, GOD!
[knock at door][gasps]
AAH!
GET OUT OF HERE.
LINDA?
- I'M NOT READYTO GIVE UP ON US.
[moans]
- [moans]
WOW.[chuckles]
THAT IS THE BEST SEXWE HAVE EVER HAD.
- [laughs]
ARE YOU HAPPY, JEFF?
- I THINK THIS MIGHT BETHE BEST DAY OF MY LIFE.
- GREAT.- OH!
- NOW YOU CAN TAKE USTO THE ZOO.
all: YAY!
[pleasant music]
[explosion]