Edwin San Juan - Making Fun of Asians

Murphy, Dahle, San Juan, Waite, Rutledge, Patton, Haddish Season 4, Ep 4 11/06/2009 Views: 2,915

Vietnamese people make great soup, but they sound like they're mad all the time. (2:15)

Everybody makes fun of Asians.

It's not fair.

Say something abouta black person--

"Oh, that's not right!"

Yeah, but...

(stereotypical Asian laugh)

That's hilarious.

All right?

Black people make fun of Asiansin the liquor stores.

(laughter)See? You know whatI'm talking about.



"Why you got to follow usaround the store?

"Huh, Ching Wa?

Why you got to follow usaround the store?"

I'll tell you why,

'cause people steal.

That's an easy question.

That's like,"Why you scratch your ass?"

"'Cause it itches."

You know what I'm saying?

Why do you think we putsurveillance cameras

in our stores?

So we can rememberour customers?

"Oh, look, there goesMr. Johnson.

He never steal nothing.A-number-one customer."


People steal,that's all I'm saying,

if I'm saying anything at all.

People steal, right?Come on.

Clap your hands if you've neverstole anything

your whole entire life.

(scattered clapping)

Three people clapped. See?

That's why we follow youaround store.


And if you clap right now,

you lie and steal.


And right nowyou're still lying.

It's not easy being Asian.

People make fun of us.

People confuse us withdifferent nationalities, right?

Growing up, people thoughtI was Vietnamese.

That's cool, but have you heardVietnamese people talk?

They sound like they're madall the time.

(imitating Asianspeaker yelling)


I'm all, "Dude,we're in the library, shh."

Vietnamese people have the bestsoup in the whole world.

I don't know if you've evertried it-- it's called pho.

It's spelled P-H-O.It's called pho.

It's delicious.

My friend was braggingabout his mom's soup.

"Yo, my mom makesthe bomb pho."


I was like, "What the phoare we waiting pho?"

Get to his house beforedinner started,

his mom came in--

(imitating Asianspeaker yelling)

I'm all,"Dude, are you in trouble?"


"I took my shoes off."

He's all, "No, my grandma calledand said 'Merry Christmas.'"

I was like, "Pho."