Nick DiPaolo - Health vs. Money

Brett Butler & Nick Dipaolo Season 1, Ep 0137 02/24/1992 Views: 3,292

You can't pay with sit-ups. (1:46)

I'VE BEEN LIVING IN NEW YORKTHE PAST THREE YEARS.

JUST MOVED OUT HERE TO L.A.

AND I MOVED OUT HERE TO GET AWAYFROM THE WEIRDOS IN NEW YORK.

I MOVED TO VENICE BEACH, SO...

PEOPLE IN VENICE BEACH MAKETHE PEOPLE IN TIMES SQUARE

LOOK LIKE THE AMISH, YOU KNOW.

I WAS ACTUALLY KICKED OFFTHE BEACH BY A COP YESTERDAY

BECAUSE THEY DIDN'THAVE NIPPLE CLAMPS ON ME.

IT'S MY KIND OF PLACE.

GIRLS IN ROLLER SKATESAND STRINGS UP THEIR BUTTS...

YEAH, THIS SUCKS; I HATE THIS.

GOOD ROCK IN L.A.

A LOT OF PLACESTO WATCH LIVE ROCK 'N' ROLL.

THAT'S WHAT I WANTEDTO DO ORIGINALLY

BECAUSE THAT'S WHEREALL THE REAL MONEY IS.

THE GILLETTE COMPANY OFFEREDZZ TOP, THE ROCK GROUP

SIX MILLION BUCKSTO SHAVE THEIR BEARDS

ON A NATIONAL TV COMMERCIAL,AND THEY TURNED IT DOWN.

HEY, FOLKS,FOR SIX MILLION BUCKS

I'D LET SOME GUYWITH A NERVOUS CONDITION

SHAVE MY ASS WITH A BOLO KNIFE.

YEAH, GIVE KATHARINE HEPBURNTHREE CUPS OF BLACK COFFEE

LET HER CHASE ME WITHA WEED WHACKER FOR A HALF HOUR.

ARE YOU KIDDING ME?

"COME HERE, YOU, I'LL GET YOU."

AND THEIR QUOTE IS

"MONEY ISN'T IMPORTANT,IT'S OUR HEALTH THAT COUNTS."

ANYBODY BELIEVE YOUR HEALTHIS MORE IMPORTANT THAN MONEY?

IT'S NOT TRUE, IS IT?

OH, COME ON, MISS.

IT IS?

I DON'T SEE TOO MANYBEAUTIFUL WOMEN GOING

"JEEZ, SHOULD I SLEEPWITH BILL IN THE PORSCHE

OR DAVE WITH LOW CHOLESTEROL?"

RINGS A BELL,DOESN'T IT, LADIES?

YES, YEAH.

EVER TRY TO BUY SOMETHINGWITH YOUR HEALTH?

"HOW WOULD YOU LIKETO PAY FOR THAT, SIR?"

"IN SIT-UPS."