Jindal All the Way

June 25, 2015 - Richard Lewis 06/25/2015 Views: 141,135

Louisiana Governor Bobby Jindal enters the 2016 presidential race with the underwhelming support of his kids. (5:49)

>> Jon: WELCOME BACK.

2016 G.O.P. IS FILLING UP FASTERTHAN THE TOILETS AT ARBY'S.

WHO--

( LAUGHTER )

WHO IS IT GOING TO BE TODAY?

>> LOUISIANA GOVERNOR BOBBYJINDAL IS THE LATEST CANDIDATE

EXPECTED TO THROW HIS HAT IN THERING.

>> Jon: SURE, WHY NOT, GIVEPATAKI SOMEBODY TO TALK TO.

( LAUGHTER )

OF COURSE, THE BAR FORPRESIDENTIAL ANNOUNCEMENTS HAS

BEEN SET PRETTY HIGH.

THERE WAS BEN CARSON'SANNOUNCEMENT AT THE GRAMMYS.

DONALD TRUMP DESCENDING LIKEZEUS FROM A GOLD OLYMPUS.

MAYBE MY FAVORITE IMAGE IN THEHISTORY OF IMAGES.

JINDAL, YOU'RE GOING TO TO CRANKIT UP TO 11 TO TO TOP THAT.

I'M THINKING YOU RIDE A BALDEAGLE DOWN TO A STADIUM CRAMMED

WITH CHEERING SUPPORTERS, WHEREYOU SING YOUR ANNOUNCEMENT IN

DUET WITH CARRIE UNDERWOOD,THE EAGLE IS ON SAX, ALL WHILE

FIREWORKS PAINT AN AMERICAN FLAGGUN ACROSS THE SKY.

I MEAN, HIT ME, BOBBY.

LET ME SEE THE BIG ANNOUNCEMENTVIDEO.

>> MOMMY AND DADDY HAVE BEENTALKING A LOT ABOUT THIS.

WE HAVE DECIDE WE ARE GOING TOBE RUNNING FOR PRESIDENT.

WHAT DO YOU THINK ABOUT THAT?

>> THAT'S GOOD. WHAT ABOUT YOU?

( LAUGHTER )( APPLAUSE )

>> Jon: I AM NOT APOLITICAL SCIENTIST.

I AM, OBVIOUSLY NOT A CAMPAIGNMANAGER.

I BELIEVE A SIGN THAT YOURCAMPAIGN MAY BE IN TROUBLE WHEN

YOU CANNOT CARRY A MAJORITY OFYOUR IMMEDIATE FAMILY.

( LAUGHTER )( APPLAUSE )

I MEAN THAT WASN'T EVEN-- EVENTHE ONE GUY GAVE A THUMBS UP.

I'M NOT EVEN SURE THAT WAS ATHUMBS UP FOR DAD.

IT WAS MORE LIKE WHO'S GOT TWOTHUMBS AND IS VOTING FOR RUBIO?

THIS GUY.

( LAUGHTER )

GOVERNOR JINDAL, THESE VIDEOSWHEN YOU DROP A SURPRISE ON YOUR

KIDS ARE ALL ABOUT THE REACTION.

THAT'S WHY PEOPLE WATCH THESEVIDEOS.

YOU EVER BEEN ON YOUTUBE, YOU'DKNOW THIS IS HOW THAT VIDEO

SHOULD HAVE PLAYED.

>> WE HAVE DECIDE WE ARE GOINGTO BE RUNNING FOR PRESIDENT.

>> ARE YOU JOKING?

>> NO, I'M NOT JOKING.

>> OH, MY GOD!

>> OH, MY GOD!

>> OH, MY GOD!

( SHRIEKING )

>> Jon: THAT'S ALL YOU HAVETO DO.

LESS OF THE JIBBER-JABBER.

LET THEM RUN IN.

IT TURNS OUT, JINDAL'S KIDSFOUND HIS PRESIDENTIAL

ANNOUNCEMENT LESINTERESTINGTHAN, LITERALLY, EVERYTHING ELSE

IN TH BACKYARD.

>> THERE'S A TURTLE OVER THERE.

>> YEAH, I SEE IT.

( CHEERS AND APPLAUSE )

>> Jon: TURTLE, HUH?

THERE WAS A TURTLE THERE.

LET ME SEE THE REVERSE ANGLE ONTHIS ALLEGED-- SON OF A BITCH.

ARE YOU HAVING A FAMILY MEETING?

( LAUGHTER )

IS THERE GOING TO BE A BARBECUE?

SURE DO LIKE HOT DOGS... YEP.

HERE'S WHERE JINDAL REALLY SHOWSHE KNOWS KIDS, AS WELL AS HE

KNOWS VOTERS.

>> MAYBE YOU'LL GET A CHANCE IFYOU BEHAVE TO GO BACK TO IOWA.

WOULD YOU LIKE THAT?

IF YOU BEHAVE.

WOULD THAT BE WORTH BEHAVINGFOR?

>> Jon: YOU KNOW THE OTHERKID'S LIKE, "SO IF WE DON'T

BEHAVE..."

( LAUGHTER )

WE DON'T HAVE TO GO TO IOWA."

( APPLAUSE )

ONE QUICK QUESTION-- "MAY IHAVE YOUR CAR KEYS, SOME

GASOLINE, AND G.T.A. 5?"

I ALMOST WISH JINDAL HAD ACHANCE.

WE COULD SEE HOW PRESIDENTJINDAL WOULD NEGOTIATE WITH

PUTIN.

"NOW, VLADIMIR, YOU PULL OUT OFUKRAINE, YOU'RE GOING TO GET TO

GO BACK TO IOWA.

YOU WOULD LIKE THAT, WOULDN'TYOU?

WOULDN'T A NICE CORN DOG BEWORTH PULLING OUT OF UKRAINE?"

LET'S BE HONEST, BOBBY IS WHATYOU CALL A LONG SHOT.

THE FIELD IS CROWDED.

TH REPUBLICANS ARE ARE GOING TONEED JAPANESE SUBWAY PUSHERS TO

ACCOMIDATE ALL THE CANDIDATES.

ACCORDING TO THE LATEST POLL,JINDAL IS ONE OF NINE POTENTIAL

REPUBLICAN CANDIDATES POLLINGUNDER 5%.

THAT'S THE MARGIN OF ERROR.

( LAUGHTER )( APPLAUSE )

TECHNICALLY, NINE OF THESECANDIDATES COULD BE LOSING TO A

BOWL OF REGURGITATED GRAPEFRUIT.

JINDAL'S ONLY CHANCE TO PULLAHEAD WOULD BE TO DEAL SOME

SOLID SLAMS TO THE DEMOCRATICFRONT-RUNNER, AND THERE AIN'T

MUCH MEAT LEFT ON THAT BONE.

>> WHEN HILLARY CLINTON TRAVELSTHERE'S GOING TO NEED TO BE TWO

PLANES, ONE FOR HER AND HERENTOURAGE AND ONE FOR HER

BAGGAGE.

>> SHE'S THE CLASSIC INSIDER.

>> THE CLINTON POLITICALMACHINE.

>> THEY DON'T WANT SOMEONE WHOWAS PART OF A MONARCHY.

>> SHE WASN'T TRANSPARENT ABOUTBENGHAZI.

SHE CLEARLY IS NOT TRUSTWORTHY.

>> THERE IS A CERTAIN SENSE THEYTHINK THEY'RE ABOVE THE LAW.

>> I HONESTLY DON'T KNOW WHATHER SUCCESSES ARE.

>> JUST LISTENING TO HER ISSOMETHING OUT OF NORTH KOREA.

IF YOU STARE AT HERSHE WILL TURN YOU TO STONE.

SHE IS THE DEVIL INCARNATE.

ALL RIGHT, BOBBY, HILLARY IS ASCHEMING, UNTRUSTWORTHY

INSIDE-THE-BELT-WAY DICTATOR.

WHAT DO YOU GOT?

>> I'M GOING TO SAY THIS SLOWLYSO EVEN HILLARY CLINTON CAN

UNDERSTAND THIS.

>> Jon: NOBODY THINKS SHE'SDUMB, DUDE.

THAT'S WHAT YOU'RE GOING TO GOWITH?

WELL, HOPEFULLY, YOU'LL HAVE ARIVETTING REALITY SHOW PILOT TO

FALL BACK ON.

( LAUGHTER )

WE'LL BE RIGHT BACK.