- Baseball'smy favorite sport.
I love it so much, and I love itfor a couple reasons.
I love it because it's old,it's slow, and nobody likes it.
I'm an only child.
I like to be alone...
with the things that I like.
I mean, this is why peopledon't like baseball.
A perfect game in baseballis when nothing happens.
I've been playing baseballon weekends.
I play on just a little team.
I love to tell people,"I've been playing baseball."
And nine times out of ten,that person will say to me,
"Don't you mean softball?"
[audience groans]Exactly, Meltdown.
And it is so sexist--"Don't you mean softball?"
It's like, the sexism is twofoldin that statement--
ah, a double play, if you will.
[laughter and applause]
When you say to someone,"Oh, don't you mean softball?"
is that people think womenare so stupid,
we don't even know what sportwe're actively playing.
Like I'm justat a driving range, going, like,
"Oh, hockey is so much fun.
Why do they fightall the time?"