I don't like to call them farts.
I don't know about you guys.
I like to call them food ghosts.
'Cause then,instead of smelling a fart,
you're, like, solving a mystery.
"Dude, what was that?"
"That was the Ghostof Pepperoni Past."
Isn't hit-and-runkind of like
the adult versionof hide-and-seek?
(singsong):You can't catch me.
Is it me,or do people who wear Crocs
kind of look like clownsnot ready to fully commit?
It's kind of likea clown starter kit.
Do you guys likepower statements?
Well, for those of you who don'tknow what a power statement is,
'cause I made it up, um...
Those of you nodding were lying.
You don't know what they are.
Um... a power statementis a statement
that's both fact and opinionin one.
same sex marriagesare totally gay.
Both fact... and opinion.
Or... it takes ballsto be a transvestite.
Fact and opinion.
Or my favorite:
lube is for (bleep).
It's so true.
If comedy doesn't work out,
which, eventually,it always doesn't,
um-- eventually-- uh,
I want to open upa low-carb Chinese restaurant.
And I'm gonna call it"No More Mr. Rice Guy."
No more. No more.