Ben Kronberg - Power Statements

Ben Kronberg Season 2, Ep 14 06/14/2013 Views: 13,119

Ben Kronberg ponders the game of hit-and-run, combines fact and opinion and names his future Chinese restaurant. (2:21)

I don't like to call them farts.

I don't know about you guys.

I like to call them food ghosts.

'Cause then,instead of smelling a fart,

you're, like, solving a mystery.

"Dude, what was that?"

"That was the Ghostof Pepperoni Past."

Isn't hit-and-runkind of like

the adult versionof hide-and-seek?

(singsong):You can't catch me.

Is it me,or do people who wear Crocs

kind of look like clownsnot ready to fully commit?

It's kind of likea clown starter kit.

For non-clowns.

Do you guys likepower statements?

Well, for those of you who don'tknow what a power statement is,

'cause I made it up, um...

Those of you nodding were lying.

You don't know what they are.

Um... a power statementis a statement

that's both fact and opinionin one.

For instance,

same sex marriagesare totally gay.

Both fact... and opinion.

Or... it takes ballsto be a transvestite.

(clears throat)

Fact and opinion.

Or my favorite:

lube is for (bleep).

It's true.

It's so true.

Sometimes butts.

If comedy doesn't work out,

which, eventually,it always doesn't,

um-- eventually-- uh,

I want to open upa low-carb Chinese restaurant.

And I'm gonna call it"No More Mr. Rice Guy."

No more. No more.