Juston McKinney - Bad Cop

Gossling, Burr, Perkins, Yard Season 1, Ep 9 11/11/2004 Views: 7,963

If you're a cop for a really poor department, bring your own crime scene tape. (1:21)

(Juston McKinney)I GOT A DEGREE INLAW ENFORCEMENT

AND I WAS A COP UP INTHE STATE OF MAINE.

I WAS A COP FORSEVEN YEARS.

I WAS--ENDED UP ON THEPOOREST AND SMALLEST

POLICE DEPARTMENTIN THE STATE.

IT WAS 14 TOWNS, 500SQUARE MILES, TWO COPS.

MY BACKUP WAS A DAYAND A HALF AWAY.

I'M OUT IN THE WOODS, UPIN THE MIDDLE OF NOWHERE.

THERE'S MOOSE,DEER, HUNTERS...

WHAT COLOR WAS MY UNIFORM?

ALL BROWN.

IS THAT SOME KINDOF A SICK JOKE?

WHY DON'T YOU JUST GLUESOME COTTON BALLS TO MY ASS?

HAVE ME LEAPOVER SHRUBBERY.

I'LL GO TAKE A SIPOUT OF A BROOK.

IT'S A WONDER IDIDN'T GET KILLED.

MY--THIS DEPARTMENTWAS PATHETIC.

WE DIDN'T EVEN HAVECRIME SCENE TAPE.

I HAD THIS OLD GUY--DIED ON THE PORCH.

I HAD TO ROPE OFFTHE SCENE, RIGHT?

I HAVE NO CRIMESCENE TAPE.

I HAVE TO ASK THEFAMILY FOR SOMETHING.

WELL, THE ONLY THINGTHAT THEY GOT IS, LIKE,A ROLL OF CREPE PAPER.

YOU KNOW, THESTREAMER STUFF?

OH, THAT'LL LOOK GOOD.

THERE'S A DEAD GUY...

LOOKS LIKE I'MTHROWING HIM A PARTY.

AND THEN I GOTTA TAKEPICTURES OF THE SCENE, RIGHT?

BUT THEY DIDN'TGIVE ME A CAMERA.

I HAD TO USE MY OWNPERSONAL CAMERA.

WELL, THE FIRST 10PICTURES ON THE ROLL

IS MY BROTHER'SGRADUATION PARTY.

SO NOW I GOT BROTHER'SGRADUATION...

DEAD GUY ON PORCH, ONTHE SAME ROLL OF FILM.

AND WE DIDN'THAVE A CRIME LAB.

I HAD TO TAKE IT TO WAL-MARTAND GET IT DEVELOPED.

YOU KNOW, THE POOR GUYDEVELOPING THE FILM

IS PROBABLY GOINGTHROUGH THE PICTURES,

LIKE, "WHOO, THISPARTY TURNED UGLY."