Tony Rock - Alcohol Is a Drug

  • Season 14 , Ep 1
  • 01/11/2010
  • Views: 10,451

Some people call alcohol a drug, but Tony Rock likes to think of it as a vitamin. (3:04)

YOU EVER MEET SOMEBODYTHAT DON'T DRINK,

AND YOU LOOK AT THEM

LIKE THERE'S SOMETHING WRONGWITH THEM?

[ LAUGHTER,CHEERS AND APPLAUSE ]

YOU ACTUALLY LOOK AT THEM

LIKE THERE'S SOMETHING WRONGWITH THEM.

YOU'RE STANDING THERE,DRUNK AS HELL.

"YOU DON'T DRINK?WHAT THE HELL'S WRONG WITH YOU?"

"SO, WHAT, YOU JUSTGO TO SLEEP AT NIGHT

AND WAKE UP IN THE SAME SPOT?"

[ LAUGHTER,CHEERS AND APPLAUSE ]

NOT ME.I WAKE UP EVERY MORNING --

"WHERE THE HELL AM I?

WHO IS THIS CHICK?"

I LOVE ALCOHOL, MAN.

SOME PEOPLE CALL ALCOHOLA DRUG, TOO.

SOME PEOPLE SAY THAT --"ALCOHOL'S A DRUG."

NOT ME.I CALL IT A VITAMIN.

'CAUSE WHATEVER YOUR DEFICIENCYIS, ALCOHOL WILL TREAT IT.

YOU GOT A PROBLEM?PROBLEM SOLVED.

"THANK YOU, ALCOHOL."

YOU GO IN A CLUB,YOU CAN'T DANCE?

HAVE A COUPLE OF DRINKS.

PROBLEM SOLVED.

ALCOHOL WILL MAKE YOU THINKYOU'RE IN AN R&B GROUP.

FIRST SHOT OF TEQUILA -- BOOM.

"YEAH!"

[ LAUGHTER,CHEERS AND APPLAUSE ]

"THANK YOU, ALCOHOL."

YOU SEE A GIRL ACROSS THE ROOM,AND SHE DON'T LOOK THAT GOOD?

HAVE A COUPLE OF DRINKS.

BOOM -- SHE IS GORGEOUS.

"I'M-A MARRY HER."

THE ALCOHOL MANPOPS UP ALL THE TIME.

I KNOW HOW TO SPOTTHE ALCOHOL MAN.

I'M TELLING YOU...

REMEMBER -- REMEMBER KANYEAT THE VMAs?

[ CHEERS AND APPLAUSE ]

HE ON THE RED CARPET,BOTTLE OF HENNESSY.

HE GET BACK TO HIS SEAT --

"AND THE AWARDGOES TO TAYLOR SWIFT."

HERE COMES ALCOHOL MAN --BOOP!

[ LAUGHTER,CHEERS AND APPLAUSE ]

"YOU KNOW THAT'S MESSED UP,RIGHT?"

"YEAH, ALCOHOL."

"YOU KNOW BEYONCé HAD ONE OFTHE BEST VIDEOS OF ALL TIME."

"YEAH, ALCOHOL."

"WELL, GET YOUR ASS UP THEREAND TELL EVERYBODY BEYONCé

HAD ONE OF THE BEST VIDEOSOF ALL TIME."

"YOU RIGHT, ALCOHOL!"

"YO, YO, YO, YO, TAYLOR,I'M REALLY HAPPY FOR YOU.

"I'M-A LET YOU FINISH.

BUT BEYONCé HAD ONE OF THE BESTVIDEOS OF ALL TIME."

[ LAUGHTER,CHEERS AND APPLAUSE ]

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