C-Czar - Baby Quality Time

  • Season 2 , Ep 6
  • 02/18/2014
  • Views: 3,864

For his latest "Dad Academy" test, C-Czar must spend four hours alone in a room with a makeshift baby. (2:20)

I'M A MOTHERAND A SOCIAL WORKER.

AND I'M OPTIMISTIC ABOUT WORKINGWITH C-CZAR TODAY.

HEY, C-CZAR.I'M PATTY.

WELCOME TO DAD ACADEMY.- IT'S SURE NICE.

ANOTHER BOY, FINALLY.- I'M NOT A BOY.

I'M A WOMAN.- OH, OKAY.

I'M A WOMAN, TOO.OOH, TOUCH MY VAGINA.

TOUCH MY VAGINA.- I'M NOT GONNA DO THAT.

THIS IS A STANDARD-ISSUEPSYCHOLOGICAL TESTING DOLL.

AND THIS IS WHAT C-CZAR'SGONNA BE WORKING WITH TODAY.

- WHAT THE [bleep] IS THAT?- THIS--

- IS THAT ANDERSON COOPER?

- WHY WOULD YOU THINKTHIS WAS ANDERSON COOPER?

- 'CAUSE HE'S WHITEAND HE'S GOT FLAXEN HAIR.

- HE'S WHITE?- YEAH, THAT BABY'S WHITE.

- A FATHER NEEDS TO SPENDA LOT OF TIME WITH HIS CHILD.

- NO.

- NO?

- NO!

- OKAY, YOU'RE GONNA BEIN THIS ROOM FOR FOUR HOURS.

- I DON'T WANT THAT BABY!- DO YOU WANNA BE A GOOD FATHER?

- NO, I DON'T WANNA BEA GOOD FATHER.

- DO YOU WISH YOU HADA GOOD FATHER?

- YEAH.

- THIS IS GONNA BE YOUR BABYFOR THE DAY,

AND YOU'RE GONNA SPEND SOME REALQUALITY TIME WITH IT, OKAY?

FOR C-CZAR,I KNEW THAT FOUR HOURS

WAS A LONG TIME.

- ♪ YEAH

- EVERYTHING'S BOLTED DOWNIN HERE.

I CAN'T GET [bleep] OUT.

I'M CHARLES MANSON.

I'M CHARLES MANSON.

I WAS, LIKE, MAD ANGRYAT EVERYTHING.

WHY DON'TYOU STOP SMILIN'?

IF YOU A REAL BABY,YOU'D BE CRYIN',

FILLIN' YOUR ASSWITH [bleep].

WHAT IS INFINITY?

'CAUSE THAT'S WHAT THISFEELS LIKE.

- IT'S BEEN TWO HOURS,

AND I'M REALLY PROUDOF C-CZAR.

WE'RE HALFWAY HOME.

- OH, [bleep].OH, [bleep].

OH, [bleep].OH, [bleep].

CHICKEN HEAD.BITCH ASS CHICKEN HEAD.

IN HOUR THREE,I WAS JUST EXHAUSTED,

EMOTIONALLY DRAINED.

- YOU'RE HOLDIN' MEBACK, BABY.

YOU'RE THE ONLY ONEWHO UNDERSTANDS

WHAT I'M GOING THROUGH,AND YET YOU'RE THE ONE

WHO CAUSED THIS NIGHTMARE,BABY.

IN HOUR FOUR,I FELL IN LOVE WITH MY SON.

- C-CZAR?- GET THE [bleep] AWAY FROM ME.

- C-CZAR, IT'S ME, PATTY.

CONGRATULATIONS.

YOU CAN GIVE THAT RIGHT BACKTO ME NOW.

- WHY WOULD I GIVE YOUMY BABY?

- WELL, IT'S NOT A REAL BABY,OF COURSE.

- OH, YOU'RE GONNA SAY THATTO HIS FACE?

- THAT'S NOT A REAL--- WHAT IS THIS, "PINOCCHILO"?

- I'M NOT CALLINGTHE BABY "PINOCCHLIO."

I'M SAYING THAT WHY DON'TYOU GIVE THAT BABY

A BIG OLD HUGAND GIVE IT ON BACK TO ME, OKAY?

- OKAY.[inhales]

[blows raspberry]OW!

IT'S STUCK TO MY LIP RING!DON'T--GET AWAY FROM ME!

GET AWAY FROM ME!THIS BABY'S--

- C-CZAR, DON'T MOVE.- AHH!

Loading...