Bonnie McFarlane - Beef Dip

  • Season 12 , Ep 10
  • 02/07/2008
  • Views: 808

Sharing a cigarette after making love is sexier than sharing a beef dip. (2:23)

THAT I WOULD JUSTBINGE DRINK REALLY HEAVILYRIGHT BEFORE MY SETS.

AND, AS YOU CAN IMAGINE,THAT HAD ITS DRAWBACKS. UM--

BUT NOW I'M A PROFESSIONAL SO IPACE MYSELF THROUGHOUT THE DAY.

IT WORKS OUT A LOT.

MY OPENING JOKE--TOOK A LOT OF COMMITMENT,

IT HAD A LOT OF ACTING IN IT.I WOULD COME OUT-- [Chuckles]

THIS IS SO-- I CAN'T BELIEVEI'M REDOING THESE. UM...

I WOULD COME OUT AND I'D GO,

"WELL, I JUST HADTHE WORST DAY EVER.

UM-- THE WORST THING THAT COULDEVER HAPPEN TO A WOMAN

JUST HAPPENED TO ME.

AND-- I DON'T EVEN KNOWIF I CAN TALK ABOUT IT.

[LAUGHTER]

[LAUGHTER CONTINUES]

I WALKED BY ACONSTRUCTION SITE...

NOTHING.

NO WHISTLES, NO CATCALLS,NOT EVEN A GRUNT.

AND I WAS NAKED AT THE TIME.

SO LAME.

I QUIT SMOKING. AND--YOU KNOW I GAINED A FEW POUNDS.

WHICH IS REALLY IRRITATING.BUT I CONSOLE MYSELF BY SAYING

THAT IT'S A LOT HEALTHIERTO BE A NON-SMOKER THAN TO BE

A FEW POUNDS OVERWEIGHT.IT'S JUST NOT AS SEXY

AFTER MAKING LOVETO SHARE A BEEF DIP.

"CAREFUL WITH THE AUJU, PETER,I JUST WASHED THE SHEETS."

PETER? I DON'T KNOWWHO THAT WAS.

[LAUGHTER AND APPLAUSE]

I DID-- I SAID I WASA LITTLE BIT PROMISCUOUS.

AND UM-- EVERY TIME I HAD TO--A COUPLE OF TIMES I HAD TO GET

A HOME PREGNANCY TEST.

AND WHEN I WAS WAITINGFOR THE RESULTS I'D BE LIKE,

OH GOD, PLEASE LET THISBE NEGATIVE. PLEASE LET--

IF THIS IS NEGATIVEI WILL NEVER DO IT AGAIN.

AND THEN, OF COURSE, WHEN IT WASNEGATIVE I'D BE LIKE,

"WELL, I GOTTACELEBRATE SOMEHOW.

- GET BACK ON THAT HORSE."- [LAUGHTER]

WHEN I FIRST GOT INTOTHIS BIZ CALLED SHOW, I DECIDED

I WAS GONNA CHANGE MY NAME.MAKE IT MORE HOLLYWOOD.

AND HOW YOU DO THATIS YOU TAKE YOUR MIDDLE NAMEAND THE FIRST STREET

THAT YOU EVER LIVED ON.SO WHEN I FIRST STARTEDI ACTUALLY WENT BY

- SUE RURAL ROUTE TWO.- [LAUGHTER]

- VERY CATCHY.- [LAUGHTER CONTINUES]

YOU LAUGH, BUTTHAT JOKE MADE IT ALLTHE WAY TO LETTERMAN.

- [LAUGHTER]- [Chuckles] THAT'S TRUE.

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