Rory Scovel - Airport Security

Rory Scovel Season 1, Ep 1 05/11/2012 Views: 12,833

It's not a fear of flying that causes Rory Scovel to hate traveling; it's the way airport security talks down to him. (3:25)

Oh, hey.

Oh, hey, yeah, hey!

Oh, goodness, look at this.

What are we doing?We're into it.

Here we are.You guys came out, good!

Good, good stuff. This side,you guys showed up, thank you.

Oh, goodness!

Oh, this is fun already!

Already it's fun! Who's alreadychanged the channel?

Like, "Hm, nah..."

"You know what, nah..."

"No, I thought for a second,maybe that channel,

not that channel now."

"No, I went into it, thinkingthat was the channel.

I was wrong. I was way wrong."

They change the channelbut come back, and I'm just...

(high-pitched): "And then, whathappened? Who's over here?"

"Oh, gosh!"


God, I got to remember to dothat at the end, just in case

someone goes, "Hey, flip backand see how he closes."

(high-pitched):"And then you're over here!"

"Oh, okay!"

But you guys are laughing.

People at home thinkyou're crazy.

Who is in that audience?!

What does he have?!

He's got nothing!

Flew in, flew in.Uh, do not like to fly.

And I tell my friends,they're like,

"Oh, you afraidyou're going to die?"

No, I just don't really likegetting talked down to

the moment I walkinto the airport.

Let's pull it back, TSA.

Let's pull it back one notch.

You walk in, they just tell you,"Your shoes have to be off!"

"Your shoes have to be off andthey have to go on the belt."

"Take your belt off!Do you have a belt on?!"

"Well, then that comes off."

You're talking down to me?

This is like one of theonly places I walk into,

look around, and immediatelyassume that if I wanted to,

I could just be the manager.

You know what I mean?

Like, I'm one application away

from just owningwhatever this is.

And you're talking down to me."Get your, get your belt off."

"Do you have anything anythingin your pockets?"

"No, you can putyour I.D. away.

You don't have toshow that anymore."

They honestly thinkthat we're going,

"When can I showmy I.D. again?!"

"When can Iget this out again?!"

"You can put it away. "

"You don't need your I.D."

"Get everything outof your pockets,

"put it in the smaller tub.If you have stuff in there,

"it goes in smaller... You haveto get your computer out.

"Your computer cannotbe touching socks

"when it goes through that.

It has to bein its own tub. Duh."


We all know that.

Computers can't touch socks when

they go throughwhatever that is.

Know that kind of stuff.


"Get it out, yes,get it in a separate bin!"

"Put it through.Now, put it on there!"

"Now, put your shoes on... No!No! Shoes go by themselves!"

"Now, no, no, right there!Now grab the flag,

give it to your dad, tell themwhat they've won!"

"Huffy bicycles."

"British Knights!"

"Texas Instruments!"

Why do you got the dadat the end in Double Dare?

You go with the youngest;Dad doesn't care at the end.

He's barely moving.

He was out of shapewhen you got there.

He's not winning a bicycle,you get the...

"Scotty, get up there!"

"You're last."

"Dive at the endif you have to."