Kevin Hart - Family Unit

Kevin Hart: I'm a Grown Little Man Season 1, Ep 0101 02/03/2009 Views: 114,561

After an altercation in the ball pit at Chuck E. Cheese's, Kevin Hart decides that his family has to make a better impression as a group. (2:00)

I'M SO PROTECTIVE OF MY KIDS,THOUGH.

I REALLY AM.

I DON'T EVEN LIKE TAKING MY KIDSOUT THAT MUCH NO MORE.

I GET INTO ARGUMENTSWITH THE OTHER KIDS.

I THINK KIDS PLAY TOO ROUGH.

I DO.

ME AND THIS BOY GOT INTO ITAT CHUCK E. CHEESE.

IT WASN'T A FIGHT;IT WAS AN ALTERCATION.

WE GOT INTO A LITTLEALTERCATION, BECAUSE MY BABY

WAS IN THE BALLS.

HE WAS THROWING THE BALLSAT MY DAUGHTER'S HEAD,

THROWING THE BALLS,HITTING MY DAUGHTER

RIGHT IN THE HEAD.

POW.

MY DAUGHTER'S SO DAMN STUPID,SHE THOUGHT IT WAS A GAME.

SHE PLAYING.

SHE LIKE, "DADDY, LOOK."

SO I'M GETTING MAD.

I'M LIKE, "THROW A BALL BACK!"I'M PISSED OFF.

I LOOK AT MY SON.

HE'S JUST LOOKINGAT THAT [bleep].

I WAS MAD AT THE WAYMY FAMILY LOOKED AS A UNIT.

LIKE, WE DIDN'T LOOK GOODAS A UNIT, MAN.

LIKE, MY DAUGHTER, SHE'S TAKINGBALLS TO THE FACE.

MY SON'S SHAKING HIS HEADAND SLOBBERING.

I'M SMALL.

WE LOOKED LIKEA [bleep] CIRCUS ACT.

I WAS SO PISSED OFF.

I NEVER BEEN SO MADAT MY WIFE IN MY LIFE.

I WAS LIKE, "WHY WOULD YOUDRESS US IN DIFFERENT COLORS?

WE LOOK LIKE CLOWNS.

FROM NOW ON, SOLID COLORSWHEN WE GO OUT.

WE LOOK LIKE A TEAM.

SOLID COLORS."

MY DAMN KIDS, THOUGH, MAN.

YOU GOT TO ACCEPT YOUR--ACCEPT WHAT YOU HAVE,

ACCEPT THE LIFE THAT YOU CHOSE.

I DON'T MIND THE PRESSURETHAT COMES WITH KIDS, THOUGH.

I CAN TAKE THAT PRESSURE.

I DON'T LIKE THE PRESSURETHAT WOMEN PUT ON MEN.

I THINK WOMEN PUT WAY TOO MUCHPRESSURE ON MEN.

THEY DO.

Y'ALL DON'T EVEN REALIZEHOW MUCH PRESSURE YOU PUT

ON MEN.

IS THAT YOUR LADY RIGHT THERE,MAN?

HOW LONG Y'ALL BEEN TOGETHER?

OH, SO YOU KNOW WHAT I MEANWHEN I SAY, "PRESSURE."

SHE EXPECTS A LOT FROM YOU.

SHE WANTS YOU TO PROVIDEFOR HER AND PROTECT HER.

WHETHER YOU REALIZE IT OR NOT,SHE DO.

LIKE, RIGHT NOW, IF A FIREBREAK OUT RIGHT NOW,

BIG-ASS FIRE, POOF,GO UP IN THE FLAMES,

THE FIRST THING SHE'S GOINGTO DO IS LOOK AT YOU LIKE:

YOU GOT TO COME UP WITH A PLAN,IN HER MIND, YOU KNOW.

"BABY, GET ON MY BACK.

I'M GOING TO BUST USOUT OF HERE."

SHE WANT--SHE WANT TO HEARSOMETHING STUPID LIKE THAT.

"BITCH, YOU BETTER STOP, DROP,AND ROLL AND FIND THAT EXIT.