Ian Bagg - Lance Armstrong

  • Season 11, Ep 17
  • 03/29/2007
  • Views: 2,356

It wasn't the steroids that helped Lance Armstrong win. (2:27)

[CHEERS AND APPLAUSE]

MY FAVORITE TEAM GOT KNOCKED OUT FAIRLY EARLY.

MY FAVORITE TEAM IS MEXICO! YEAH. YEAH.

THOSE GUYS SHOULD BE GETTING BACK TO AMERICA ANY DAY NOW.

[CHEERS, WHISTLES & APPLAUSE]

I JUST WANNA KNOW HOW THE MEXICAN TEAM GOT TO GERMANY.

THAT'S ALL I WANT TO KNOW. DID THEY SNEAK ON A BOAT

AND THEN WHEN IT LANDED THEY RAN ON THE FIELD MOWED IT

AND THEN PLAYED THE GAME. WHAT HAPPENED? WHAT HAPPENED?

[LAUGHTER AND APPLAUSE]

OH, MY GOD, I CAN'T BELIEVE LANCE BASS IS GAY.

I NEVER SEEN IT COMING. NOT THE ASTRONAUT.

YOU KNOW I'M TALKING ABOUT THE GUY FROM IN-SYNC IS GAY.

OH, REALLY, A GUY WHO DANCES WITH OTHER MEN TO POP MUSIC IS GAY.

I'M SURPRISED.I FELT VINDICATED. WHY?

'CAUSE MY SISTER USED TO LISTEN TO THEM ALL THE TIME.

AND I'D SAY,"TURN THOSE QUEERS OFF." AND SHE'S LIKE,

"THEY'RE NOT GAY."

- HA, HA, HA. WINNER. WINNER. - [CHEERS, WHISTLES & APPLAUSE]

ANYBODY WEARING THE YELLOW WRISTBAND TO SAVE THE BALLS?

YOU KNOW WHAT I'M TALKING ABOUT.YOU GUYS FROM AMERICA?

SEE WHAT HAPPENED, IN 1969, A MAN LANDED ON THE MOON

AND HE ONLY HAD ONE BALL

AND THAT'S WHY HE COULD JUMP SO HIGH.

SO TODAY WE WEAR A YELLOW WRISTBAND

TO HONOR THAT AFTERNOON. TO THE MOON.

SOME PEOPLE GOT THAT. OTHER PEOPLE ARE JUST CONFUSED.

I CAN'T BELIEVE HE'S PICKING ON AN AMERICAN HERO.

YOU'RE PROBABLY THE SAME PEOPLE THAT THINK LANCE ARMSTRONG

WAS ON STEROIDS. THAT'S WHY HE WON SO MANY TOUR D'FRANCE'S.

I'LL TELL YOU WHY HE WON SO MANY TOUR D'FRANCE'S.

HE'S GOT ONE BALL. HE'S MORE AERODYNAMIC.

HE JUST PUTS IT ON THE BAR AND GOES FOR IT.

[LAUGHTER AND APPLAUSE]

EVERYBODY ELSE HAS GOT MUD FLAPS.

SURE DOES SOUND COOL.

FLIPA, FLOPPA, FLIPA, FLOPPA, FLIP.

BUT IT'S GONNA SLOW YOU DOWN THE MOUNTAINS. FLIP, FLOP, FLIP, FLOP.

MEANWHILE, HERE COMES FANCY PANTS ONE BALLS SNEAKING UP BEHIND YA.

ZET, ZET, ZET, ZET ZET, ZET, ZET, ZET.

[LAUGHTER, CHEERS & APPLAUSE]

THAT IS NOT A NOISE YOU WANNA HEAR

SNEAKING UP BEHIND YOUIN A DARK ALLEY.

I LIKE YOU PEOPLE.YOU'RE VERY INTERESTING.

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