We've got to stop this '70sfashion thing from happening.
It's making me want to puke.
Who organized this call toarms with the bell bottoms?
I ask you, it's likethe biggest nightmare.
Obviously, whoeverdecided this was
a good idea never hadtheir bell bottoms
caught in their bikechain the first time.
Because there was nothing moremortifying than having to drag
your bike home on yourpants for six blocks.
Because, like, isn't fashion abig enough nightmare as it is?
I mean, women areso sucked into it.
We're forced to see it.
I mean, we have these magazines.
You may never buy Cosmo,but it's in your face
because you haveto buy groceries.
And there's thatcover staring at you.
What you don't see is the polethat's been air-brushed out
of her butt, becauseit's not her real butt.
It's some computerizedscrew-on butt product
that Dow or somebodycame up with.
She doesn't look like her, andwe're expected to forget it.
It's like a nightmare.
I can't do it.
And Cindy Crawford with thatmole-- what is that about?
This wandering mole of hers.
It's here one month,and it's here--
it's like this mole hasits own solar system.
And stop letting her sing.
So bitter about her singing.
You're pretty, that's all.
Because that's whatit is, you know.
Your mother putsthis into your head.
You know, honey.You've got to look good.
Just look good andset a beautiful table.
It's all my motherever says to me.
Make sure you seta beautiful table.
My mother is soclueless to reality.
She's much older.
She's 72 years old, andshe's never had it together.
This is a woman that used tothrow out traveler's checks
after vacation because shethought they were void.
She gets all of herinformation from Rush Limbaugh.
Oh, that's great.
I'll never forgetat Thanksgiving,
my mother was havingthis heated debate,
and you know how parents are.
They don't really know a lot,but they like have this opinion
that's strong, you just kind ofbelieve them for half a second?
So we're fighting aboutthe banking scandal.
My mother's poundingher fists on the table,
going-- "I don't thinkthe tax payers should
have to pay for the S&L bailout.
I think the government should!"
Yeah, you've got your thumb onthe pulse of what's going on,
Stick to Christmas decorating.
It's what you're good at.
My mother lives for Christmas.