Susan Prekel - Too Short

Season 1, Ep 0103 08/03/2006 Views: 1,732

Short guys love Susan. (1:59)

who loves me.

I'm six feet,and anyone under five foot two

responds to me like I'm crack.

( laughter )

And I've tried to datethese guys.

I really have,'cause they're great people

and whatever, but, you knowwhat, it doesn't work.

It does not work 'cause I goto put my arm around them,

and I feel like a cross-dresser.

( laughter )

And honestly,it's fine that I'm single,

because I don't reallyhave time to date.

I don't. I'm very neurotic,

and I have a lotof doctors' appointments.

I am. I'm so neurotic,I actually made my doctor

give me the morning-after pillafter I had sex in a dream.

Got a little dating tipfor the guys in the audience.

Uh, when you are out on a date,

we don't really need to knowwho you think is hot.

( laughter, applause )

We don't.

I was out with this guy,and I really liked him.

His name was Ben,and he was very smart,

he was very funny,but you know what,

he was not physically perfect,

by any means.

He had kind of a dead,gray tooth.

( laughter )

Not a big deal--it was in the back.

I was, like, "If this goes well,

he can get that fixed,"you know?

So, I'm outwith Ben and his tooth, and, uh,

he just won't let it go.

He just wants to tell mewhich Hollywood star

with the stylist and a trainerhe finds attractive.

And I'm, like, "Oh, my God,please tell me.

I'd really love to know,I really would."

'Cause I just workeda ten-hour day.

I just hurled myself

through closing subway doorsto get here on time.

( laughs ):Yeah. I spent my lunch hour

at Strawberry's lookingfor something cute to wear

on the sale rack.( laughing )

( sobbing ):That'd be so greatif you could tell me!

Who do you think is hot?!

Who is it? Who is it?

Catherine Zeta-Jones.

Catherine Zeta-Jones.She's gorgeous.

One of the most beautiful womenin the world.

And totally out of your league.

This is your league!

Look at me!

Look at me!This is who you're dating!

That's your league, buddy!

( laughter, applause )