AND I WAS FLYING OUT.
[ LAUGHTER ]
IT'S NOT LOUISIANA.
I WAS FLYING OUT.
I WAS ON, UH, KANYE WEST,AND I WAS IN THE TERMINAL.
[ LAUGHTER ]
GET INTO HIP-HOP.IT HELPS THE JOKES.
I WAS IN THE TERMINAL.
I'M WAITING TO GET ON MY PLANE.
THERE WAS A GUYGETTING ON MY FLIGHT.
HE ONLY HAD ONE ARM -- JUST ONE!
THIS ARM RIGHT HERE --COMPLETELY GONE --
NO NUB, NO NOTHING.
AND I'M WATCHING THIS FELLOWGET ON MY FLIGHT,
AND ALL I COULD THINK WAS...
..."PLEASE LET ME SITNEXT TO HIM."
[ LAUGHTER,CHEERS AND APPLAUSE ]
AND I DID.
[ LAUGHTER ]
WRONG SIDE.
[ LAUGHTER AND APPLAUSE ]
AND HE FOUGHT FOR THE ARMREST.
BELIEVE ME WHEN I TELL YOU,HE FOUGHT FOR IT!
"CAN'T BELIEVE YOU DIDN'T WANTTHE WINDOW SEAT.
RUDE."
[ HUMMING ]
♪ "KNOW YOUR PLACE IN LIFE"
[ LAUGHTER ]
"OH...
"GREAT.
I GUESS IT'S MY JOB TO HELPWITH SOMEBODY'S OXYGEN MASK."
[ LAUGHTER AND APPLAUSE ]
"WE'LL SEE."
[ LAUGHTER ]
"HUH?
"RAVIOLI OR CHICKEN."
"IF YOU GET THE CHICKEN,DO I HAVE TO HELP YOU CUT THAT?"
[ LAUGHTER ]
"WHAT'S YOUR DEAL, BUDDY?
WHAT ARE YOU, LIKE A BIGDEF LEPPARD FAN OR WHAT?"
[ LAUGHTER ]
"OH, OH, COMEDY SHOW!"SHUT UP!
AND GET INTO VH1.IT HELPS THE JOKES.
I LUCKED OUT.
HE DIDN'T WANT TO CHITCHATAT ALL,
WHICH WAS PERFECT,
BECAUSE IF THAT GUY WOULD TRYTO INTRODUCE HIMSELF...
[ LAUGHTER ]
I WAS NOT SHAKING THAT HAND.
BECAUSE CHANCES ARE...
...NOT VERY CLEAN.
[ LAUGHTER ]