AND I WAS FLYING OUT.

[ LAUGHTER ]

IT'S NOT LOUISIANA.

I WAS FLYING OUT.

I WAS ON, UH, KANYE WEST,AND I WAS IN THE TERMINAL.

[ LAUGHTER ]

GET INTO HIP-HOP.IT HELPS THE JOKES.

I WAS IN THE TERMINAL.

I'M WAITING TO GET ON MY PLANE.

THERE WAS A GUYGETTING ON MY FLIGHT.

HE ONLY HAD ONE ARM -- JUST ONE!

THIS ARM RIGHT HERE --COMPLETELY GONE --

NO NUB, NO NOTHING.

AND I'M WATCHING THIS FELLOWGET ON MY FLIGHT,

AND ALL I COULD THINK WAS...

..."PLEASE LET ME SITNEXT TO HIM."

[ LAUGHTER,CHEERS AND APPLAUSE ]

AND I DID.

[ LAUGHTER ]

WRONG SIDE.

[ LAUGHTER AND APPLAUSE ]

AND HE FOUGHT FOR THE ARMREST.

BELIEVE ME WHEN I TELL YOU,HE FOUGHT FOR IT!

"CAN'T BELIEVE YOU DIDN'T WANTTHE WINDOW SEAT.

RUDE."

[ HUMMING ]

♪ "KNOW YOUR PLACE IN LIFE"

[ LAUGHTER ]

"OH...

"GREAT.

I GUESS IT'S MY JOB TO HELPWITH SOMEBODY'S OXYGEN MASK."

[ LAUGHTER AND APPLAUSE ]

"WE'LL SEE."

[ LAUGHTER ]

"HUH?

"RAVIOLI OR CHICKEN."

"IF YOU GET THE CHICKEN,DO I HAVE TO HELP YOU CUT THAT?"

[ LAUGHTER ]

"WHAT'S YOUR DEAL, BUDDY?

WHAT ARE YOU, LIKE A BIGDEF LEPPARD FAN OR WHAT?"

[ LAUGHTER ]

"OH, OH, COMEDY SHOW!"SHUT UP!

AND GET INTO VH1.IT HELPS THE JOKES.

I LUCKED OUT.

HE DIDN'T WANT TO CHITCHATAT ALL,

WHICH WAS PERFECT,

BECAUSE IF THAT GUY WOULD TRYTO INTRODUCE HIMSELF...

[ LAUGHTER ]

I WAS NOT SHAKING THAT HAND.

BECAUSE CHANCES ARE...

...NOT VERY CLEAN.

[ LAUGHTER ]