John Mulaney - Jerry Orbach

Oswalt, Mulaney, Edwards, Cummins, Mordal, Prekel, Borowitz Season 1, Ep 3 08/03/2006 Views: 39,470

Jerry Orbach was the best actor on "Law and Order." (1:57)

I'm actually - I was bornin Chicago

but New York is great

'cause this is wherethey make Law & Order,

which is my favorite show,you know?

And I realizedit was my favorite show

when I was in my thirdconsecutive hour

of Law & Order.

I figured,this better be my favorite,

otherwise I have a problem.

But it's crazy.

If you watch enough episodesof Law & Order,

you see these patternsin every episode, you know?

Like, in the beginning, whenthey're interviewing witnesses

about the crime, the people they talk to

are always so casualabout being questioned

by homicide detectives.

There's been, like,a double rape and murder,

and they're questioningsome guy,

and he's just, like,"Tony Ramirez?

"Yeah, I remember him.

He used to work hereon Tuesdays."

It's, like, people have died.

You can't stop unloading cratesfor a second?

How often do you talkto homicide detectives?

"I got to get back to work."

No, you don't.The police are here.

All bets are off.

They always let some detailabout the case go

that they don'teven realize is important.

They'll be, like, "Well,did he say where he was going?"

"Said somethingabout the knife store."

Like, yeah, knife store!

Knife store pertains

to the stabbing investigation.

My favorite on that show,though, is Jerry Orbach.

I loved him because...

Yeah, he was the best...

( applause )

'cause he always had, like,a funny little one-liner

when they found the dead body.

They'd find a teacherlying dead in an alley,

and Orbach would be, like,

"Huh! Looks like school's out."

I always wanted to see an episode

where he couldn't thinkof a clever one.

Where they find the guy deadwith a Mars bar in his hand,

and Orbach's, like, "Huh!

"Looks like he won'tbe going to Mars

"anytime soon. Get it?Mars bar?

"Aw, screw you guys!

Nine times out of ten,they're funny."