Uncensored - Speed Roasting - Hot Asian Chick

Week of 8/27/2012 - Kimmel, Norton, Rajskub, Lee Season 1, Ep 3 08/28/2012 Views: 21,895

Jeff roasts his fans -- including a man with an unusual name and a woman with an unfortunate outfit -- with the help of Jim Norton, Bobby Lee and Mary Lynn Rajskub. (2:17)

-Obviously, you have tohave a good sense of humor

to be a part of the show.

So I like to end every nightby speed roasting volunteers

from the audience.

Who wants to be speed roasted?

[one cheer]


You didn't-- you have toraise your actual hand.

You can't-- come up here, sir.

What's your name, sir?



I loved you was Baba Booeyon "The Howard Stern Show."

You're like Baba Booey's lesssuccessful cousin, Baba Smelly.

JIM NORTON: Hey, nice smile.

I bet when you go on adate, you're a rapist.

JEFF ROSS: Why do you havea vagina on your chin,

by the way?

What's your name?




You're a good sport, Jess.

What's your name?





All right.

Maybe Allan should get a tan.

-He doesn't look likea real human being.

It's like Tim Burton drew him.

That's it, you know?

-If I paid you $5, would youstand on my porch on Halloween?

-Good one.

What do you make ofthis outfit, Bobby Lee?

Turn around so he can see.

-Asians wear yellow stuff.

It makes it look likeshe's wearing no shirt.

JEFF ROSS: You dresslike Dog the Bounty

Hunter if he wasa hot Asian chick.

JIM NORTON: I thinkyou're wonderful.

I've wanted to fuck youever since "Kill Bill."

-Bobby Lee, anyclosing thoughts,

like your phone number?

-No, I don't date Asians,really, because in the dark,

they look likeother Asian people.

Like, oh, my God,that's my uncle, Han.

You know what I mean?

Oh, oh, it's Connie Chung.

-I don't do Asian people either.

-What's that?

-I don't do Asian people either.


What does that mean?

You want to see it?

It's thick.


I'll pull it outright now, lady.

I'll [inaudible].

I don't give a fuck.

-Thank you all fora wonderful night.

I love you.