I'm such an idiot.
Is anyone else here
like a straight-up idiot?
Just like a classic bozoor a straight-up buffoon?
Oh, it's the best.
I recently gotin a car accident
'cause I got distractedby an ice cream billboard.
I was literallysitting in traffic
and there there was,like, a billboard
on the sideof the road
for, like,fudge ice cream,
and I reacted to itjust like
a hunk checking outa beach babe
in, like, an '80s comedy.
I was just like...
and then slammedinto the car in front of me.
I'm allowed to own a gun,you guys!
That's not howit should work.
Help mefigure something out.
How do sharks fuck?
Like, I don't mean,like, anatomically.
Like, I get that, like,
something goes in something,gets all swishy,
quick kiss on the cheekand then bye-bye!
But, like, what I don'tunderstand is, like,
if you're a shark,
you don't know that you looklike a shark, right?
There's no mirrorsin the ocean.
So if you don't knowthat you look like a shark,
how are you gonna let somethingthat looks like a shark
put its dick in you?
That would be like ifPaul Giamatti was, like,
constantly tryingto have sex with me,
and I was like,"No, Paul Giamatti.
Get away, Paul Giamatti."
And then one day I walkedby the mirror
for the first timein my life,
and I'm Paul Giamatti.