So, uh, I'm half-whiteand half-black.
That's why I look Dominican.
The craziest thing about mysituation is my mom is black,
my father's white,but my mom hates white people.
Like, she talks about my fatherlike he's not even in the room.
Like, he'll blow his noseand she'll be, like,
"Baby, baby, look at thatwhite guy over there.
"Blowing his nose over his food,that's disgusting.
That's what white people do."
I'm, like, "He has a name;it's 'Dad'! Show some respect."
My wife is, uh, is Pakistani,but she doesn't look it.
She looks Filipino,which is what I thought.
I went to her house, I'm, like,"Prayer cloth? Koran?
What's going on? Gotcha!"
But my mom is, like, so racist.
She found outshe's from Pakistan,
she calls me on the phone,frantic.
She's, like,"Uh, uh, Josh, baby, um,
me and Nadia,we're friends, right?"
I'm, like, "Yeah, yeah,you're friends."
"Um, Nadia would tell me
if there was a flightI shouldn't take, right?"
I'm, like,"Mom, Nadia's not a terrorist."
"Baby, I'm not judging.
I just need that information."