Jimmy Carr - Women's Problems

  • Season 9 , Ep 3
  • 01/13/2005
  • Views: 9,636

Women's problems end any conversation. (2:25)

NOW WOMEN REACH THEIR SEXUAL

PEAK AFTER 35 YEARS.

MEN REACH THEIRS AFTER ABOUT

FOUR MINUTES.

[LAUGHTER]

WHICH IS I THINK, WHY WE GET

MORE DONE.

[LAUGHTER CONTINUES]

NOW WHEN I USED TO HAVE A JOB,

WHEN I HAD A PROPER 9-5 JOB,

I WAS ALWAYS VERY JEALOUS OF

THE WOMEN THAT I WORKED WITH

BECAUSE THEY HAD THE BEST EXCUSE

FOR TAKING A DAY OFF SICK.

WE ALL LIKE TAKING A DAY OFF

SICK ONCE IN A WHILE, DON'T WE?

AND WOMEN HAVE THE BEST EXCUSE.

IT IS OF COURSE "WOMEN'S

PROBLEMS."

AND THE REASON WOMEN'S PROBLEMS

IS SUCH A GOOD EXCUSE IS BECAUSE

"WOMEN'S PROBLEMS" IS THE END OF

CONVERSATION.

[LAUGHTER]

"WHY DIDN'T YOU COME IN

YESTERDAY?"

"WOMEN'S PROBLEMS."

[LAUGHTER AND APPLAUSE]

I LIKE TO THINK IF I WAS THE

BOSS, THINGS WOULD BE RATHER

DIFFERENT.

"WOMEN'S PROBLEMS."

"HMM, BREASTS OR GENITALS?"

[LAUGHTER]

"MAYBE I COULD HAVE A LOOK."

[LAUGHTER CONTINUES]

FEMINISTS SAY, AND YOU MAY AGREE

WITH THIS YOU MAY NOT.

FEMINISTS SAY A WOMAN'S WORK

IS NEVER DONE.

MAYBE.

IF THEY GOT THEMSELVES ORGANIZED

IT WOULD BE BETTER.

[LAUGHTER]

OH.

[LAUGHTER CONTINUES]

THAT'S A BIT OF AN ICY STARE

YOU'RE GIVING ME THERE, MADAM.

WHAT YOU'VE GOT TO UNDERSTAND

IS THAT'S POST-MODERN MISOGYNY.

THAT JOKE IS IN FACT STEEPED

IN IRONY.

SO DON'T YOU WORRY YOUR PRETTY

LITTLE HEAD ABOUT IT, LOVE.

[LAUGHTER AND APPLAUSE]

I WAS FILLING IN A

QUESTIONNAIRE.

IT SAID WHO WOULD YOU MOST LIKE

TO SLEEP WITH, ANYONE LIVING OR

DEAD?

I PUT "ANYONE LIVING".

[LAUGHTER]

LADIES, IF YOU GET A BURNING

SENSATION WHEN YOU PEE...

[LAUGHTER]

IT COULD BE ONE OF THREE THINGS.

IT COULD BE A URINARY TRACT

INFECTION.

COULD BE A BUSH FIRE.

[LAUGHTER]

OR IT COULD BE SOMEONE'S TALKING

ABOUT YOUR VAGINA.

[LAUGHTER AND APPLAUSE]

MY GIRLF

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