Earthquake - Picking Up White Women

  • Season 7 , Ep 5
  • 03/06/2003
  • Views: 11,972

Black men need to work on their approach when it comes to white women. (2:45)

TELL YOU THE TRUTH.

LOVE BEAUTIFUL BLACK WOMEN.

I'VE GOT A BEAUTIFUL BLACK

WOMAN.

(CHEERS AND APPLAUSE)

YEAH.

LOVE BLACK WOMAN, BURNT BLACK,

SLAVE BLACK.

I LOVE MY WOMAN SO BLACK I JUST

LIKE HER TO LAY IN THE BED AND

LOOK LIKE A HOLE IN THE SHEETS.

(LAUGHTER)

YOU'VE JUST GOT TO FEEL FOR HER,

"WHERE YOU AT?"

"HERE I IS."

I WAS GONNA MESS WITH A

WHITE WOMAN BUT I DON'T KNOW HOW

TO PICK 'EM UP.

THEY DON'T MESS WITH BROTHERS

LIKE ME.

I GOT TO WORK ON MY APPROACH.

I BE TRYING TO GET HIM.

I GO UP LIKE, "HOW YOU DOING

WHITE WOMAN?"

(LAUGHTER)

SHE JUST GRAB HER PURSE

AND RAN DOWN THE STREET.

I'M LIKE "THAT'S RACISM, BECKY,

THAT'S RACISM."

I DON'T KNOW HOW TO GET 'EM,

I DON'T.

I GOT TO WORK ON MY APPROACH.

I KNOW HOW TO GET SISTERS,

I GOT 30 YEARS PRACTICE OF THAT.

ALL YOU GOT TO DO IS GO TO THE

CLUB AND SAY I GOT THAT RENT

MONEY.

I TOLD YOU THIS CLUB BE OFF

THE CHAIN.

BROTHERS BE PAYING BILLS.

'CAUSE A SISTER LET YOU KNOW

SHE NEED HELP.

SHE'LL LAY ALL THE BILLS

ON THE BED.

I JUST KNOCK 'EM ON THE FLOOR.

I AIN'T THE TYPE OF MEN TO GET

IN YOUR BUSINESS.

THAT'S BETWEEN YOU AND THAT MAN

IN THE ENVELOPE.

YOU SAID YOU WAS INDEPENDENT.

LET'S THANK YOUR SISTER.

YOU HAVE TO FIND THE RIGHT ONE.

'CAUSE I TRIED.

'CAUSE MARRIAGE IS LIKE

I TOLD YOU IT'S DEEP.

EVERYBODY LIVE IN L.A. PEOPLE

GET DIVORCED ALL THE TIME.

TOLD MY WIFE IT'S DEATH DO US.

THAT'S WHAT I TOLD GOD.

AND I'M GONNA LOVE YOU

TILL THE DAY I DIE.

NOW I TOLD GOD, I DON'T LIE

TO GOD NOW.

I DON'T KNOW HOW YOU ROW

BUT WE AIN'T SEPARATING.

AND WHATEVER TOOK ME TO GET YOU

I'M GONNA DO TILL THE DAY I DIE.

NOW IF YOU TELL ME I GOT TO BE

HOME EVERY NIGHT AT 2 O'CLOCK

IN THE MORNING, IT COULD BE 1:58

AND THE BROTHER RUNNING HOME.

NOW, I'M GONNA GO BACK OUT

AT 2:01 BUT I WAS HOME AT

2 O'CLOCK.

I DON'T WANT TO HEAR NOTHING

FROM YOU.

AND LIVING IN L.A. THEY GOT

THIS THING CALLED IRRECONCILABLE

DIFFERENCES.

I MEAN, YOU CAN GET A DIVORCE

JUST LIKE THAT.

NAW, YOU DON'T LOVE ME NO MORE,

I DON'T TURN YOU ON NO MORE,

THAT'S COOL, BUT I AIN'T GONNA

LEAVE YOU.

"BITCH, WE ROOMMATES.

GO ON AND FIX UP ANOTHER ROOM

AROUND THE HOUSE.

LIFE IS A LONG TIME.

WE'LL FALL BACK IN LOVE

TOGETHER.

WE WILL.

AND WHATEVER IT TOOK ME,

COME ON, I'M GONNA DO IT

FOR YOU, BABY.

HEY, I'M YOUR HUSBAND,

AND I'M STILL GONNA DO ALL

THE DUTIES AS YOUR HUSBAND.

AND YOU'RE GONNA DO ALL

THE DUTIES AS MY WIFE.

I'M GONNA CUT THE GRASS,

I'M GONNA PAY ALL THE BILLS,

AND YOU'RE GONNA DO ALL YOUR

DUTIES.

AND WHEN I'M IN THE MOOD

I'LL KNOCK ON THE DOOR.

(KNOCKING) 'WHO IS IT?'

'IT'S THE LANDLORD'.

I'M HERE TO COLLECT YOUR HALF

OF THE RENT.

YOU AIN'T EVEN GOT TO WAKE UP,

JUST ROLL ON OVER."

(LAUGHTER)

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