Brian Kiley - Pregnant Cravings

  • Season 10 , Ep 19
  • 04/20/2006
  • Views: 1,353

When Brian's wife was pregnant she had cravings for other men. (3:20)

ALL RIGHT. THANK YOU.

THANK YOU VERY MUCH.

THIS IS A VERY BIG TIME FOR ME.

TWO MONTHS AGOAFTER ALL THESE YEARS,I FINALLY TIED THE KNOT.

- [CHEERS AND APPLAUSE]- THANKS. THANK YOU.

I DON'T KNOW WHO ELSE HAS HAD A VASECTOMY.

BUT-- WHEW--IT WAS NOT EASY.I'LL TELL YA.

WHEN MY WIFE FIRST GOT PREGNANT, I DIDN'T REALIZE,

SHE WASN'T FEELING WELL. I DIDN'T THINK ANYTHING OF IT.

THEN SHE STARTED THROWING UP EVERY MORNING AND PUTTING ON WEIGHT.

AND THEN IT OCCURRED TO ME. SHE'S GOT A DRINKING PROBLEM.

[LAUGHTER]

WHEN SHE WAS PREGNANT, SHE WOULD GET THESE CRAVINGS

IN THE MIDDLE OF THE NIGHT. SHE WOULD GET THESE CRAVINGS

FOR OTHER MEN,WHICH IS SO FRUSTRATING.

- BUT-- - [LAUGHTER]

SO, WE HAVE TWO KIDS. WE HAVE AND EIGHT-YEAR-OLD BOY AND A SIX-YEAR-OLD GIRL.

AND THEY'RE BOTH AT SUCHA CUTE AGE, YOU KNOW.

OUR BABY-SITTER IS 22 WHICH IS ALSO A CUTE AGE I'VE NOTICED.

AND WE PICKED OUT KINDA OLD-FASHIONED NAMES FOR OUR KIDS.

OUR LITTLE BOY'S HUNTER.AND OUR LITTLE GIRL IS GATHERER.

[LAUGHTER]

NAMES YOU DON'T HEAR A LOT OF ANYMORE BUT AH...

'COURSE, LIKE ANY PARENT, I WANT MY KIDS TO HAVE

ALL THE ADVANTAGES IN LIFETHAT I NEVER HAD.

SO, WE'VE STARTED PUTTING MONEY ASIDE-- FOR HIS HAIR WEAVE.

[LAUGHTER]

[APPLAUSE]

THOSE THINGS ARE EXPENSIVE. WHEN HE WAS REALLY LITTLE,

MY WIFE USED TO DRESS HIM UP IN THIS LITTLE SAILOR'S SUIT.

THEN HE WOULDN'T STOP CURSING.

ASKED ME WHERE HE COULD FIND SOME ACTION IN THIS TOWN.

[LAUGHTER]

HAVING DINNER LAST NIGHT, MY SIX-YEAR-OLD TURNED TO ME

AND SAID, "DAD, WHEN I GROW UP, I'M GONNA MARRY YOU."

WE LAUGHED ABOUT IT. MY WIFE SAID,

"DON'T MAKE THE SAME MISTAKES I DID."

[LAUGHTER AND APPLAUSE]

I'M SO GLAD I DIDN'T PROPOSE PUBLICLY.

I WAS AT A BASEBALL GAME LAST SUMMER.

THIS PLANE FLEW OVERHEAD WITH THIS BANNER THAT SAID,

"ANN, WILL YOU MARRY ME? DAVE."

APPARENTLY ANN SAID "NO" BECAUSE THIS OTHER PLANE SHOWED UP

AND SHOT THE FIRST PLANE DOWN.

[LAUGHTER]

IF YOU'RE GONNA GET ENGAGED, DON'T DO WHAT I DID

'CAUSE I GOT THE RING BY MYSELF.

YOU SHOULD REALLY GO WITH HERTO GET THE RING,

'CAUSE IT WASN'TWHAT SHE WANTED.

I HAD TO TRY TO RETURN IT. AND THE VAN WASN'T THERE.

[LAUGHTER AND APPLAUSE]

I'VE DEFINITELY CHANGEDNOW THAT I'M MARRIED.

ONE THING I NEVER DONOW THAT I'M MARRIED IS

I NEVER CHECK OUT OTHER WOMEN.

- [SNICKERS] - [LAUGHTER]

I LET MY WIFE DO IT FOR ME. WE'RE WALKING SOMEWHERE.

SHE'LL BE LIKE, "DO YOU SEE THAT WOMAN OVER THERE

WITH THE SKIRT UP TO HERE?"

- "I ALMOST MISSED HER. - [LAUGHTER]

THANK GOD YOU'RE HERE.KEEP UP THE GOOD WORK."

[LAUGHTER CONTINUES]

SO I GREW UP IN NEW ENGLAND. I GREW UP IN A MOBILE HOME

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