("Hail to the Chief")
- Good evening my fellow Americans.
With me as always is my anger translator, Luther.
- Now, after the recenttown hall debate,
it's a time for reflection.
- I got my swagger back, bitches.
Woo, this motherfucker don't even need me anymore.
- My opponent and I hadsome tense exchanges.
- No he didn't try to square up to me.
You know I'm black, right?
You know I'm not this effeminate little white boy
who you bullied in high school?
- Governor Romney continues to prove a challenging
- I mean it's like there's two of them.
It's like the new MittRomney trying to go back
in the past and kill the old Mitt Romney.
I mean, is this motherfucker a looper?
- I'm confident I was able to communicate
the strength of my convictions.
- Mitt, when you was talking about Libya,
you got a little specialtreat right there, dog.
You got to see my angry eyes.
I usually reserve that for when Bo poops on the carpet
or Joe Biden says anything.
- He once again used his resume to justify
- This motherfucker right here.
This motherfucker mentions the Winter Olympics
more than I mentionkilling Osama Bin Laden!
- He was proud of his efforts to include
qualified women in his cabinet.
- You made it sound like finding a qualified woman
is like hunting down a sasquatch, riding on the back
of a unicorn, reading the specifics of your tax plan.
- And he even drew a tenuous connection between
single parent householdsand gun violence.
- Oh, that's right, children of single parents
usually grow up to use AK-47's
or become the president.
- Governor Romney seemedto have a difficult
time explaining his own so-called five point plan.
- Mitt, man, I've got afive point plan for you
right here, dog, bipp!
Right in your lip, niggle!
- He even seemed unclear as to the agreed protocol
of the debate.
- Oh, you want to mess with me?
That's one thing but youtalk over Candy Crowley?
Not on my watch, baby.
- I also talked over Candy Crowley.
For which I apologize.
- Seriously, Candy,sometimes you got to let
a nigga finish his sentence, okay?
Especially when the fateof Western civilization
is at stake, bitch!
You did it again.
How in the world do youthink it's appropriate
to insult Peabody Awardwinning Candy Crowley?
Your hair look good, girl.
- It is true, though.
Sometimes you just got to let a nigga finish his sentence.