Jeff Ross wasn't wrong. You onlyroast the ones you love.
-This is what we need everybody!Some fucking Roast Battle!
I have a big fat baby face, Iunderstand that.
The word for that is cute, bythe way.
I feel like he's so pompous Ijust want to deflate himimmidiately.
Jay Light is my best friends, myold roommate, we're coworkers.
He has like music videos of himlooking, somehow even worse
than he does now.
I didn't want to take forgranted that I knew him.
I did watch a couple of videosjust to make sure that
I knew he was a piece of shit.
You know, I look like every guy
Liam Neeson killed in a movie.
That's not gonna be that goodfor me.
I'm gonna go in and do exactlywhat I learned
how to do in the Belly Room.
Word economy, and fierce jokes,and a lot of swag.
Obvious jokes she'll haveagainst me?
My cocaine addiction.
I have a rebuttal ready.
Battle, battle, battle, battle,bat--
It's absolutely different thandoing standup.
If standup was whiskey, RoastBattle is heroin.
I don't know, there's justsomething
kinda visceral about roasting.
When you get that, "Ooh!"
Everyone else, come at me, bro.
Do I look bothered?
No, I'm fabulous.