Nick Swardson - I Quit

  • Season 10, Ep 14
  • 04/06/2006
  • Views: 34,482

Quitting pot is amazing. (1:06)

(LAUGHTER)

I DON'T.

THERE'S NO REASON TO LAUGH AT

THAT.

I DON'T KNOW WHY YOU'RE...

I USED TO SMOKE POT.

I'M NOT GONNA LIE.

I'M NOT GONNA TRY TO DEFEND THIS

SHIRT.

I'VE SMOKED POT BEFORE.

AND I USED TO SMOKE POT ALL THE

TIME, AND THEN I QUIT.

I DON'T KNOW IF ANYBODY'S EVER

DONE THAT, BUT THAT'S LIKE

AMAZING.

LIKE I TOTALLY SMOKED FOR A

WHILE AND THEN I TOTALLY

STOPPED.

AND MY FRIENDS, THEY COULDN'T

BELIEVE IT.

THEY WERE LIKE, "WHAT?

YOU QUIT?

YOU'RE DONE?

WHAT ARE YOU-- REALLY?

THAT SUCKS.

WHAT ARE YOU DOING?

THAT SUCKS."

I'M LIKE, "YEAH. IT REALLY SUCKS

REMEMBERING WHERE I PUT STUFF

NOW."

(LAUGHTER)

THE WHOLE FIRST WEEK I THOUGHT

I WAS PSYCHIC, LIKE I THOUGHT

I HAD NEW POWERS ALL OF A

SUDDEN.

YOU KNOW?

(LAUGHTER AND APPLAUSE)

IT WAS, LIKE, AMAZING.

I'D BE, LIKE, "WHERE ARE MY

KEYS?

OH, THEY'RE IN MY POCKET.

HOW DID I KNOW THAT?

OH, MY GOSH!"

♪ (HARMONICA MUSIC PLAYS)

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