Dom Irrera - Human Manatee

  • Season 1 , Ep 3
  • 01/11/2011
  • Views: 5,120

No one would want to roofie Louie Irrera. (1:20)

(Dom Irrera)DON'T YOU THINK IT'SAMAZING HOW SOME GUYS,

NO MATTER WHATTHEY LOOK LIKE,

THEY THINK THEY SHOULDBE GOIN' OUT

WITH THE HOTTESTCHICKS ON EARTH?

THERE IS A GUY WHO LOOKSLIKE HE'S HIT IN THEFACE WITH A FRYING PAN,

HE'S GOT THATPEKINGESE DOG PROFILE,

AND HE'S CUTTINGWOMEN UP...

"BOY, SHE'S A BEAST, WHATA SKANK THAT DOG IS."

THAT'S MY COUSIN LOUIS... WEWALK INTO A BAR, HE GOES...

"HEY, DOM, I THINK THATWAITRESS NOTICED ME."

"WHAT DO YOU THINKSHE NOTICED, LOUIS?

"THE FACT THAT YOURBELLY CAME IN FOURSTEPS AHEAD OF YOU?

YOU THINK SHE WASWONDERING WHAT WAS BEHINDTHAT BOWL OF GIRTH?"

"YEAH, SHE WON'TGO OUT WITH ME.

SHE MUST BE, LIKE, ALESBO OR SOMETHING."

"WELL, SHE'D HAVE TO BE ALESBIAN NOT TO GO OUTWITH A HUNK LIKE YOU.

"IT COULDN'T BE THATRING OF COLD SORESABOUT TO POP OFF

"YOUR IMPETIGO-INFESTED NECK,DIRT BALL...

BUT I DON'T MEAN THATIN A BAD WAY, LOUIS."

WE'RE AT A BAR, HE'S GOTHIS HAND OVER HIS DRINK...

"WHY DO YOU GOT YOURHAND OVER YOUR DRINK?"

"YOU KNOW,MAN, ROOFIES.

THE DATE RAPE DRUG."

"LOUIS, FIRST OF ALL,LET'S CLEAR THE AIR HERE.

"YOU ARE A HUMAN MANATEE.

"NOBODY IS GONNA WANNAPUT YOU TO SLEEP TOHAVE SEX WITH YOU.

"I GUARANTEE YOU COULDPASS YOUR DRINKAROUND THE ROOM,

"AND IT WOULD PROBABLYCOME BACK FORTIFIEDWITH VITAMINS

"'CAUSE THEY FEELSO BAD FOR YOU.

DRINK UP, MY FRIEND."

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