Todd Lynn - Here's My Story

Lynn, Pedigo, Kader, Dunnigan Season 6, Ep 605 11/16/2002 Views: 3,885

It's different being black and growing up rich. (2:24)

I WENT TO UTAH EARLIER THIS

YEAR, SALT LAKE CITY, UTAH

TO SEE THE OLYMPICS.

I DON'T KNOW IF ANY OF Y'ALL

HAVE BEEN OUT THERE, UTAH?

BEEN THERE, YEAH.

UTAH APPARENTLY IS THE INDIAN

WORD FOR "AIN'T NO NIGGER'S

NOWHERE AROUND HERE,"

'CAUSE THERE AIN'T NO BLACK

FOLKS NOWHERE IN UTAH.

THEY AIN'T NEVER SEEN NONE.

THEY WAS BACKING INTO POLES,

RUNNING INTO STUFF.

LITTLE KIDS WAS POINTING AT ME

OUT THE WINDOW LIKE "MOMMY,

SASQUATCH RIGHT THERE!"

THAT'S MY CURSE, TOO, YOU KNOW,

LIKE I'M A BIG, YOU KNOW,

BLACK THUG, MEAN-LOOKING DUDE.

YOU KNOW, I'M FOR REAL.

IT MESSED UP MY WHOLE LIFE.

I CAN'T NORMAL STUFF, LIKE I

CAN'T RIDE IN THE ELEVATOR WITH

LIKE A LITTLE WHITE LADY.

I MAKE ANY SUDDEN MOVEMENT,

SHE GOES SCREAMING AND PRESSING

THE RED BUTTON, LIKE "OH,

HE ABOUT TO ROB ME!"

WHICH ALWAYS SCARES THE HELL OUT

OF ME.

NOW I'M IN THE ELEVATOR LIKE A

DAMN MINSTREL TRYING TO CALM HER

DOWN.

"OH, NO, MISS LADY, MA'AM,

I JUST WANTS TO DO MY DANCE FOR

YOU.

♪ OH, WE WAS FIGHTING

♪ AND A PICKING AND A SKINNING

♪ AND A GRINNING

(LAUGHTER AND APPLAUSE)

I GOT THAT LOOK, TOO.

I GOT THAT WHOLE THUG, GANGSTER,

RAP, YOU KNOW, HIP-HOP, BAGGY

PANTS THING GOING ON.

AND I REALLY DON'T WANT THE

BAGGY PANTS.

I JUST CAN'T FIND NO DAMN PANTS

THAT FIT ME.

I HAVE NO IDEA WHO CAME UP WITH

THIS WHOLE BAGGY, OVERSIZED

CLOTHES THINGS.

I MEAN, AS SOON AS IT GOT HOT

I WENT TO GET SOME SHORTS.

THE DAMN THINGS CAME ALL THE WAY

DOWN TO MY SHINS.

I'M LIKE A GROWN MAN WITH

CAPRI PANTS ON NOW.

(APPLAUSE)

YOU KNOW WHAT IT IS?

I AIN'T A BLACK DUDE.

I AIN'T.

I AIN'T A BROTHER.

I'M NOT ONE Y'ALL ARE USED TO.

I GREW UP RICH.

YEAH, BOTH MY PARENTS WERE

DOCTORS.

WE WERE LOADED.

YEAH, I DON'T NOTHING ABOUT THIS

STRUGGLE.

I AIN'T NEVER HAD TO KEEP IT

REAL.

I AIN'T NEVER HAD NO PROBLEMS

I NEED TO RAP ABOUT.

WHEN WE HAD PROBLEMS, WE HAD A

POND IN THE BACKYARD.

I USED TO GO IN THE BACK

AND REFLECT.

(LAUGHTER AND APPLAUSE)

MY LIFE WAS DIFFERENT.

IT WAS DIFFERENT.

JUST DID NOT APPLY TO ME.

THE ONLY APPLIES TO ME IS WHEN

PEOPLE THAT REALLY HURTS ME

FEELINGS IS WHEN THEY SAY I'M

FAT.

THAT'S IT.

AND-- WELL, I AM.

YOU KNOW WHAT?

AND I'M GONNA TELL YOU

SOMETHING.

I HAVE DEALT WITH IT.

I'M NOT DOING ANYTHING TO GET

BETTER.

I'M NOT WORKING OUT.

I'M NOT LIFTING NO WEIGHTS.

I'M NOT DOING TAI-BOE.

IT'S OVER WITH.

I'M IN SHAPE.

I'VE GOTTA SHAPE.

IT'S ROUND.

THAT'S IT.

THAT'S IT.

THAT'S IT.