Jack Coen - Monica Lewinsky

  • Season 2, Ep 11
  • 09/03/1999
  • Views: 2,928

Jack feels sorry for Monica Lewinsky. (2:17)

IT'S SO WEIRD.

YOU KNOW, A MONTH AGO,HE'S GETTING IMPEACHED

AND NOW... YOU SEE...

HE'S A TYPICAL GUY.

TAKE HIS CHICK AWAY,ALL HE WANTS TO DO IS FIGHT.

THIS IS A PRESIDENT...

THIS IS A PRESIDENT THAT YOUNGERKIDS WILL REMEMBER.

YOU KNOW, IT'S...WELL, LOOK AT THIS GUY.

THINGS HAVE CHANGED SO MUCHFROM WHEN I WAS YOUNGER.

I MEAN, YOU WOULDN'T HAVE HAD,YOU KNOW, A GIRLFRIEND...

A GIRLFRIENDOF THE PRESIDENT

GOING ON BARBARA WALTERS.

"YEAH, HE KISSED PRETTY GOOD.

I'LL TELL YOU THAT RIGHT NOW."

YOU KNOW, WHEN I WAS YOUNGER

IF A GIRLFRIENDWAS BOTHERING THE PRESIDENT

THE CIA KILLED HER, YOU KNOW.

( audience laughing )

IT WAS A MORE INNOCENT TIME.

( laughing )

AND ALL THE COMPARISONSBETWEEN KENNEDY AND CLINTON

SHOULD END RIGHT NOW.

PLEASE. CUT ME A BREAK.

KENNEDY SLEPT WITH WOMEN

THAT GUYS DREAMEDABOUT SLEEPING WITH.

NOT FEARED WAKING UP WITH.

BUT DON'T GET ME WRONG--

I FEEL SORRYFOR MONICA LEWINSKY.

I DO... NO, I DO.

YOU KNOW WHY?

BECAUSE THEY PUT FORTHTHE CLASSIC RAPE DEFENSE.

THEY MADE THE VICTIMLOOK LIKE A WHORE

AND WE ALL FELL FOR IT.

"SHE'S A WHORE. LOOK AT HER.

SHE'S A WHORE."

SHE WAS 23 YEARS OLD

WHEN THE PRESIDENTOF THE UNITED STATES

WAS HITTING ON HER.

23. PLEASE, MAN, WHEN I WAS 23

IF THE PRESIDENTWAS HITTING ON ME

I'D ( bleep ) HIM, TOO.

( audience cheering )

I WOULDN'T SAVE A SHIRTHE DRIBBLED ON

BUT, YOU KNOW, I...

IT'S UNFORTUNATE.

IT REALLY IS BECAUSE I DON'TTHINK PRESIDENT CLINTON

IS A BAD PRESIDENT.

IT JUST SOUNDS LIKEHE'S A DOG.

IT SOUNDS LIKE HE HAS NAILED

EVERYTHING THAT MOVESIN THE WHITE HOUSE.

IN FACT, I THINK THAT'S WHYAL GORE STANDS THE WAY HE DOES.

"WHERE IS HE?!""WHERE IS HE?!"

THANKS. THAT WAS FUN.

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