Being Batman

  • Season 1, Ep 4
  • 03/27/2014
  • Views: 4,803

Forrest takes to the streets as Batman but has trouble finding particularly heinous crimes. (2:34)

I MISSED MY BATWOMAN, SUZANNE,

AND MY BAT-SON...

BAT-EVERYTHING.

HEY, THE BIKE LANESARE CLEARLY MARKED.

- [bleep] YOU, BATMAN!

- [bleep] YOU.

[bleep].

BUT I DID MY BESTTO FIND CRIMINAL MASTERMINDS

OR AS CLOSEAS I COULD COME.

EXCUSE ME.

THIS SHOPPING CARTDOES NOT BELONG TO YOU.

I'LL BRING IT BACKTO THE FOOD SAVER.

- WHAT?

- I'M BATMAN.

IT WAS CLEAR TO METHAT THE IDEA

OF A PRIVATE CITIZENFIGHTING CRIME

IS OF NO VALUE WHATSOEVER.

THAT SHOULD BE LEFTTO POLICE OFFICERS

WITH THE PROPER TRAINING,EQUIPMENT,

AND ACCOUNTABILITY TO SOCIETY.

HOW THIS NEVER OCCURREDTO BATMAN IS BEYOND ME.

YOO-HOO.

YOU'RE BREAKING THE LAWRIGHT NOW.

YOU MIND COMING WITH METO THE POLICE STATION?

- HA HA.IT'S BATMAN.

- STOP--OW.THAT'S DISGUSTING.

WHAT'S THE MATTER WITH YOU?[cell phone rings]

- WHAT?- CONTROL YOURSELF.

HELLO?- WHERE ARE YOU?

WE'RE AT THE COURTHOUSE.- WHAT?

NO.- I DON'T KNOW--

- NO, NO, NO, NO.NO, THAT WAS TOMORROW.

OH, NO, NO,NO, NO, NO.

I'M HERE.I JUST GOT HERE.

WHAT FLOORARE YOU GUYS ON?

OKAY.WELL, WHICH WAY IS IT?

WHICH WAY DO YOU GO INONCE YOU'RE UP TOP,

ONCE YOU'RE AT THE BEGINNING?

OH.

OH, YOU CAME INTHROUGH THE PARKING GARAGE?

WELL, WHEN YOU'RE IN THE LOBBY,IS IT ALL

ONE LOBBY FOR EVERYTHING,OR IS IT...?

IF YOU'RE STANDINGON THE SIDEWALK--HANG ON.

HEY, YOU GUYS, DO YOU KNOWWHERE FAMILY COURT IS?

WHAT FL--OR WHICH ENTRANCEYOU GO IN FOR FAMILY COURT?

IS IT THE MIDDLE?OKAY, THANK YOU.

YEAH, I GOT IT.I'M GOING IN THE MIDDLE DOOR.

[elevator beeping]

- FORREST?- YES.

SUZANNE, CAN I SPEAK WITH YOUFOR JUST ONE SECOND, PLEASE?

JUST ONE SECOND, PLEASE.

- WHY ARE YOU DRESSEDLIKE THIS?

ARE YOU GOING CRAZY?- NO.

LET'S NOT DO THIS.I DON'T WANT TO BE DIVORCED.

LET'S JUST GO--- OKAY, FORREST,

I UNDERSTANDTHAT YOU ARE NOT

IN THE BEST FRAME OF MINDRIGHT NOW, OKAY?

- I AM THINKING VERY CLEARLY.- YOU ARE CLEARLY NOT.

BUT I AM CERTAINTHAT THIS IS BEST FOR US, OKAY?

- HOW CAN YOU SAY THAT?

WE HAVE A LIFE TOGETHER.- I CAN'T--

- MACNEIL!

- [sighs]

- SUZANNE--SUZANNE.

- STOP IT.I'M SORRY.

- IT'S ALL RIGHT.DON'T WORRY ABOUT IT.

- THIS WAS SUPPOSEDTO BE WEDNESDAY.

- I WAS LOOKINGAT LAST YEAR'S CALENDAR.

- [sighing]

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