Thea Vidale - Herbage Experience

  • Season 1 , Ep 104
  • 10/20/2011
  • Views: 8,647

It's safe to assume that Thea Vidale will be smoking weed when Jesus returns. (3:03)

(cheering)

'Cause pot smokersdon't hurt nobody.

We dial Domino's Pizza,get the pizza, we're in heaven.

I've been smoking weedsince I was 15 years old.

I'm 54 now,so it's safe to assume

I'll be smokingwhen Jesus come back.

(cheering and applause)

Hell, I done smokeso much weed,

I thought I was smokingwith Jesus.

And ain't nothing wrongwith smoking with Jesus.

Any man that could turn an ounceinto a pound

is all right with me.

(cheering and applause)

You smoke weed,your reality is different.

You don't even feel like messingwith your kids when you high.

You be like...

(breathy):"Quit it.

(laughter)

"I'm not playing with you.

(laughing)

Give Mommy a biteof your cookie."

(laughter)

And there's some stuff that onlyreal Buddha heads understand.

But have you ever been downto the last of your good stuff?

The lastof your good, good stuff?

You know, the stuff that's

so-good-you-got-to-stick-it-in-the-microwave-

to-dry-it-out-so-you-can-roll-it-up good stuff?

And for those of youthat do not partake

in the herbage experience,

(voice breaking):when...

(laughter)

I'm sorry.It's hard to talk about it.

(crying):When you roll your last joint...

...it's like a ceremony.

WOMAN:Oh, yeah...

You know how you do.WOMAN:Yup.

(humming "Taps")

(laughter)

(humming faster)

(humming continues)

(laughter and applause)

(inhaling)

(humming continues)

(laughter)

(applause and cheering)

And you get downto that last little doobie,

and you just high.

You ain't messing with nobody.

Don't want nobody messingwith you.

All you want to do is be high

and watch South Park.

(laughter)

And you sitting up here

having the best giggly gigglyof your life,

'cause you know they finnakill Kenny.

(laughter)

And some old messed-up personcome to your house,

like your mama.

(laughter)

And she start asking youa whole lot of questions,

so now you got to think.

Oh, she asks you hard questions,too, like,

"How come you eatingCool Whip and cornbread?"

(laughter)

And if you a true pot smoker,you know

the best food commercialscome on late at night.

And the best food commercialin the world is Red Lobster.

Have you ever been so high,when they squeeze that lemon,

you actually grab your eyelike they got you?

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