Paul F. Tompkins - Sexy Bee

  • Season 1 , Ep 6
  • 02/12/2010
  • Views: 18,428

If you were aroused by bees, seeing a woman dressed as a bee probably wouldn't do it for you. (4:11)

THERE ARE A NUMBEROF STRIPPER STORES.

THESE ARES STORESTHAT SELL COSTUMES

THAT STRIPPERS CAN WEARON THE STAGE.

(laughter)

USUALLY, THEY ARE BASED--THEY'RE OCCUPATION-BASED, RIGHT?

LIKE, YOU'LL HAVETHE SEXY NURSE,

OR THE SEXY POLICE LADY,CLASSIC SEXY FRENCH MAID.

AND ONE TIME I SAW ONEIN THE WINDOW OF THIS PLACE.

IT WAS NOT BASED ONANY KIND OF JOB AT ALL.

IT WAS THE SEXY BEE.

(laughter)

SEXY BEE.

IT WAS A LOW-CUT,

BLACK AND YELLOWSTRIPED TOP, RIGHT?

LITTLE BLACK SKIRT,SOME PLASTIC INSECT WINGS,

SOME ANTENNAE.

(laughter)

SEXY BEE.

(laughter)

NOW, IF YOU ARE SEXUALLYAROUSED BY BEES...

(laughter)

I BET THIS IS NOT GONNADO IT FOR YOU.

(laughter)

IT MAKES ME THINK OF,LIKE,

A COUPLE THAT'S BEENTOGETHER A LITTLE WHILE,

NOT FOREVER,BUT LONG ENOUGH

WHERE THEY HAVETHIS CONVERSATION

WHERE THE LADY WOULD SAYTO THE GENTLEMAN,

"SO, LIKE,WHAT'S THE WEIRDEST THING

THAT YOU'RE INTOSEXUALLY?"

"WELL, UM...

"I HAVE NEVER SAID THIS OUT LOUDTO ANOTHER LIVING PERSON,

"AND YOU WILL FORGIVE MEIF I DON'T ACTUALLY MAKE

"EYE CONTACT WITH YOUAS I TELL YOU THIS.

"BUT, UH, HERE GOES.UM, OKAY, OKAY.

"UH,I WOULD LIKE TO HAVE...

"SEX WITH A...

"BEE, OKAY, THERE.(laughter)

"I SAID IT ONCE, AND FELT KINDOF GOOD TO SAY IT OUT LOUD,

"BUT I AM INSTANTLY FILLEDWITH SHAME,

"SO LET US NEVER,EVER SPEAK OF THIS AGAIN.

OKAY? DEAL? GOOD."

BUT SHE CAN'T GET IT OUTOF HER MIND, RIGHT?

SO A LITTLE TIME GOES BY.

SHE'S WALKING DOWN THE STREET.SHE PASSES THIS STORE.

"OH, MY GOD."

(laughter)

"THAT'S PERFECT."(laughter)

SHE BUYS IT.SHE TAKES IT HOME.

SHE WAITS FOR HIMTO COME HOME,

GETS IN THE OUTFIT.

"I'M HOME.WHERE ARE YOU?"

(singsong)"I'M IN THE BEDROOM."

HE OPENS UP THE DOOR.

"HI.

"BZZZ, BZZZ.

(laughter)

I WANT SOME HONEY."

(laughter)

"ARE YOU MAKING FUN OF ME?!"

(laughter)

"N-NO, DON'T YOU--DON'T YOU GET IT?

I'M A SE-SEXY BEE."

"I TOLD YOU THATIN CONFIDENCE!"

"BUT, NO, YOU SAID--YOU SAID THAT...

(laughter)

"YOU TOLD METHAT YOU LIKE THIS.

YOU TOLD ME THAT THISIS WHAT YOU LIKE."

"I KNOW WHAT I TOLD YOU,ALL RIGHT?!

"I DIDN'T TELL YOUI WANTED SOME WOMAN

"IN A HALF-ASSED BEE COSTUME!

(laughter)

"THAT'S NOT WHAT I TOLD YOU!

"I TOLD YOU I WANNAHAVE SEX WITH A BEE!

(laughter)

DON'T."

(laughter)

I FEEL SORRY FOR THAT GUY

'CAUSE I KNOWHE'S TORTURED,

AND I KNOWTHAT IN HIS MIND

THE ETERNAL ARGUMENTRAGES ON ETERNALLY.

"WOULD IT BE BETTERIF THE BEE WAS BIGGER

OF IF I WAS SMALLER?"

(laughter and applause)

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