Sandra Bernhard - Life on the Road

Bobby Slayton & Margaret Cho Season 1, Ep 0149 02/24/1992 Views: 508

The road will make you ornery. (2:56)

NO.

NO, YOU KNOW, I JUST GOT OFFTHE ROAD AGAIN SO I'M ORNERY

I'M IRRITABLEAND KIND OF ON EDGE

BECAUSE I WAS OUTWITH MY BAND AND...

STAYING IN...

( laughter )

STAYING IN A LOT OF,YOU KNOW, GOOD HOTELS THIS TIME.

YOU KNOW, LIKEHOLIDAY INNS AND STUFF.

AND, YOU KNOW, THE GROUPIES AREDRIVING ME INSANE, OF COURSE.

THE 15-, 16-YEAR-OLD KIDSCOME BACK

AND, YOU KNOW,WE'RE COOL WITH THEM.

WE HAVE THEM COME BACK

AND WE USUALLY PICK OUTABOUT SEVEN OR EIGHT PER NIGHT.

( laughter )

A GOOD MIXTUREOF YOUNG BOYS AND GIRLS

JUST TO KEEP IT FAIR, YOU KNOW.

( laughter )

AND THEN WE BRINGTHEM BACKSTAGE.

WE ALWAYS HAVE A NICEDELI PLATTER TO SHARE WITH THEM.

THEY'RE USUALLY RUNAWAYSSO THEY'RE HUNGRY.

SO WE RELAX AND... BUT USUALLYTHEY NEED A SHOWER OR A BATH

BECAUSE THEY'VE BEEN,YOU KNOW, ON THE ROAD

SO WE TAKE THEMBACK TO THE HOTEL

AND, YOU KNOW, GIVE THEM SOMET-SHIRTS AND SOME SWEATSHIRTS

GIVE THEM A NICE BATH AND...

OH, SOMETIMES THEYSPEND THE NIGHT.

THEY NEED A NICE BEDTO SLEEP IN, YOU KNOW.

SOMETIMES WITH ME,SOMETIMES OUT ON THE COUCH.

SOMETIMES HALF THE NIGHT WITHME, AND THEN OUT ON THE COUCH.

( laughter )

THEN IF THEY'RE CUTE

WE KEEP THEM WITH US FORA COUPLE DAYS ON THE JET

AND GIVE THEMPER DIEM OF COURSE.

WE GIVE THEM SOME MONEY FOR FOOD

IN CASE THEY WANTTO WANDER OFF BY THEMSELVES.

AND THAT'S BASICALLY IT.

AND THEN IN BETWEENWE DO OUR SHOWS

AND IT'S REALLY COOL, YOU KNOW?

SO THAT'S KINDOF WHERE I'VE BEEN AT.

A LOT OF PEOPLE DON'T REALIZE

I'M BASICALLY ON THE ROADALL THE TIME WITH MY GROUP SO...

I DON'T REALLY DO COMEDYSO THIS IS LIKE NEW FOR ME

KIND OF TO HOST A SHOWLIKE THIS AND EVERYTHING.

BUT I'VE BEEN KNOWNTO MAKE PEOPLE LAUGH.

NOT NECESSARILY ON PURPOSE,SOMETIMES JUST...

THAT'S A CUTE LITTLEGIRLY HAT YOU'RE WEARING.

Woman:I WORE ITFOR YOU.

YOU WORE IT FOR ME?

A KOOKY LITTLE HAT?

DON'T YOU KNOW I'LL JUST

KNOCK IT RIGHT OFFYOUR HEAD AND SLAP YOU?

DON'T BE SHOWING UP

WITH THOSE LITTLEHATS WITH FAKE...

FAKE FLOWERS ON THEM.

I'M GOING TO WEARSOMETHING GIRLY TONIGHT.

YEAH, ME TOO.

SO THIS IS THE NIGHTSOF ROCK AND ROLL

AND THEN IN BETWEEN THERE'SGOING TO BE SOME COMEDY RELIEF.

BUT OF COURSE, FIRST WE HAVETO BREAK FOR A COMMERCIAL

TO PAY FOR ALL THIS TRASH.

BUT WE'RE GOING TO BE RIGHT BACK

WITH BOBBY SLAYTON ANDMARGARET CHO SO COME BACK.

I HOPE I SAID HER NAME RIGHT.