Kevin Nealon - Electric Car

  • Season 2 , Ep 1
  • 05/28/1999
  • Views: 3,324

Kevin Nealon gets environmentally conscious. (2:17)

I GOT AN ELECTRIC CAR.

YOU HEARD OF THESE?

THEY'RE SO COOL.

I LOVE IT, MAN. IT'S GREAT.

IT'S IN THE SHOP NOW.

WE'RE HAVING A GAS ENGINEPUT IN IT, BUT STILL, YOU KNOW.

I'M LIKING IT. IT'S NICE.

I'M ON A STRICT RUNNING PROGRAM.

I STARTED YESTERDAY. MM-HMM.

I'VE ONLY MISSED ONE DAY SO FAR.

OH, I'M SERIOUSABOUT IT THIS TIME.

I'M SERIOUS ABOUT IT.

I TRIED CROSS-COUNTRY SKIINGLAST YEAR.

THAT'S A TOUGH SPORT.

HERE'S A LITTLE TIPIF YOU'RE GOING TO TRY IT.

START OFF WITH A SMALL COUNTRY.

AND GO THE WIDTH,NOT THE LENGTH.

CHILE'S A GOODBEGINNER'S COUNTRY

'CAUSE IT'S ONLY LIKE THIS WIDE.

YOU KNOW WHATTHE MOST STRESSFUL JOB IS?

I WAS THINKING ABOUT THIS.

YOU EVER GO TO AN AIR SHOW?

YOU SEE THE GUY THAT STANDSON THE WING OF THE PLANE

AS IT'S FLYING? THIS GUY'S NUTS.

I'VE MET A FEW OF THEMTHAT DO IT

AND I'VE SEEN THEMQUITE A FEW TIMES.

IT'S NOT AS IMPRESSIVE ANYMORE

BUT NOW, IF A GUY COULD STANDON A HELICOPTER BLADE...

THAT'D BE SOMETHING RIGHT THERE.

I JUST MOVED.

THAT'S PRETTY STRESSFUL.

IT'S ONE OF THE THREE MOSTSTRESSFUL THINGS IN LIFE.

OKAY, IT'S MOVING...

AND THE DEATH OF YOUR SPOUSE...

AND THEN MOVINGYOUR DEAD SPOUSE.

THOSE THREE THINGS RIGHT THERE

BUT I GOT THIS LITTLE, UH,FIXER-UPPER HOUSE

I BOUGHT ABOUT FIVE YEARS AGO

AND I HAVEN'T DONE ANYTHING TOIT LIKE IN FIVE YEARS, YOU KNOW

SO NOW IT'S LIKEA LITTLE KNOCKER-DOWNER HOUSE.

I MEAN, EVEN IF I HAD THE TIME,I'M NOT GOOD WITH THE TOOLS.

YOU KNOW, BOB VILA--REMEMBER THAT SHOW?

THIS OLD HOUSE?

THAT GUY COULD FIX ANYTHING.

I WOULD WATCH THAT AND GO

( gasps ):"OH, MY GOD," YOU KNOW.

HE'S GREAT.

NOW, IF I HAD A SHOW...

IF I HAD A SHOW... IT WOULD BECALLED "THIS FAT CHECK."

"HI, WELCOME TO THE SHOW.

"I'LL BE WRITING OUT A BIG,FAT CHECK TO MY CONTRACTOR.

"I'LL BE USING A THREE-INCHBIC FINE-TIP BALLPOINT PEN.

MAKE SURE YOU WRITEON SOMETHING FIRM."

AND IT'S TOUGH MOVING FOR ME,TOO, BECAUSE I HAVE THREE CATS

AND THEY ONLY ALLOW ONEON THE PLANE

YOU KNOW, SO I HAD TO SMUGGLETHE OTHER TWO ON

WHICH, YOU KNOW, WAS VERYSTRESSFUL FOR ME, YOU KNOW

'CAUSE I HATE TO BREAK RULES

BUT WHAT I DID WAS,AND THIS WAS BETTER

I PUT THE CATS INTO A BALLOON,SWALLOWED THEM

THEN POOPED THEM OUT LATER.

I WILL BE RIGHT BACK.

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