Brian Posehn - Quitting Pot

  • Season 6 , Ep 8
  • 06/09/2002
  • Views: 11,265

It was easier to quit meat than pot. (1:17)

I WAS VISITING MY MOM,

WE HAD OUR FAMILY TREE DONE.

AND IT TURNS OUT I'M A QUARTER

GAY ON MY FATHERS SIDE.

(LAUGHTER)

WHICH IS WEIRD.

GERMAN, IRISH, ITALIAN, GAY!

WHO KNEW?

I'M ALSO 1-16th RETARDED.

WHICH IS WEIRD.

THOUGHT IT'D BE MORE THAN THAT.

(LAUGHTER)

I'VE ACTUALLY BEEN TRYING

TO QUIT SMOKING WEED AND IT'S

REALLY HARD MAN, QUITTING POT.

IT'S LIKE IT WAS ACTUALLY EASIER

FOR ME TO BECOME A VEGETARIAN,

YOU KNOW, QUITTING MEAT BECAUSE

YOUR FRIENDS NEVER SHOW UP AT

YOUR HOUSE WITH A SACK OF BEEF.

(LAUGHTER AND APPLAUSE)

DUDE TWIST UP A LINK, STAR TREK

IS ON.

(LAUGHTER)

LET'S FILL UP WITH SAUSAGE

AND LAUGH.

I HAVE TO QUIT SMOKING THOUGH,

'CAUSE I CAN'T WRITE JOKES

WHEN I'M HIGH.

I ALWAYS THINK I WROTE THE MOST

GENIUS JOKE OF MY LIFE.

NEXT MORNING, NO FAIL, I'M

LOOKING' AT A COCKTAIL NAPKIN

THAT SAYS "CHICKEN MONKEY."

I'M GOING, WHAT THE...HUH?

CALLING ALL MY FRIENDS, "DUDE,

WHAT WAS THE CHICKEN MONKEY

THING?"

I DON'T REMEMBER MAN,

BUT WE WERE (BLEEP) CRYING.

(LAUGHTER)

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